A Deeper Wisdom

4/8: 12:05 am...
There is a deeper wisdom that lies within each and every one of us. Her name is Intuition. She comes around at the most crucial times...times that are critical to the direction our life will lead us in. This is why it is important to listen to her. I call Intuition a female, whether she resides in a man or woman, because Intuition is feminine. She is circular, rounded, creative, insightful, and wise. The masculine is Logic (mind), brother of Intuition (heart). Logic is linear, sharp, and instructive. Without one, we are imbalanced. We need both to thrive and to lead our lives to the fullest.




I was raised in an extremely Logic-filled environment, and matters of the heart were kept quiet. I had much difficulty because of this situation, but now, I am grateful for what it has taught me. It has caused me to long for my intuition...to want to listen...to care.




4/9: 12:05 am...

Today I was told by a co-worker that I smell "comforting". I thought it was a nice compliment. :)
Then I was told by the Chef at work, who used to be my boss, that I "look good! Must be all that yoga! You're always glowing!"...then he tells me "You need a boyfriend"... I want one, that's for sure...but they are extremely hard to come by. I've been so picky all my life, and then again I haven't been picky enough and land myself into relationships that suck the life out of me. I told a friend the other day, "If there's anyone out there just right for me, he's probably just like I am, a busy body who doesn't ever 'hang out', and if I do hang out, it's a rarity...thus, we might never find each other...let alone, notice...each other...."

True that.




My thoughts are scrambled tonight...seems like I have much more to write about, but I'm feeling blocked...so I will save it for another time. Namaste.




...ok, nevermind. I remembered something.




I think I was born into this life for a purpose greater than I ever realized. I was thinking about it on my drive home from work...how in every situation I've been in, within ever relationship I have ever had with anyone...I've always wanted to understand and grow from it. It's like my soul wants to be here to learn, and it's so powerful that it overrides my emotions most of the time...but it allows me to experience the feeling first, and once the feeling has been released, my spirit has been cleansed enough to gain clarity and insight to the experience. It's comforting to think of it in such a way...

It's as if I asked to come here for the purpose to experience, understand, and learn from life...




I am an extremely emotional being, and deeply spiritual being...I've always been more emotionally and spiritually adept, more so than intellectually and physically. Once I began my yoga practice, combining that physical movement and body awareness with emotional and spiritual self, I began to develop further and am here, now, writing this insight I just had 30 minutes ago. I've always been a deep thinker as well, and hated being in school, where they told me how to think, how to do, how to be, how to feel...all I ever wanted was to figure it out by myself, and I didn't want anyone telling me I was wrong. I was very bull headed as a child...probably got that from my dad. ;)

I feel very balanced these days...much more than in my past. I was often off center most of my life, until I found yoga and dedicated my life to it, and heard and accepted the calling to become a teacher. It's another great purpose I have in this life, and I'm just so thrilled that I have been called to do such a great deed for the world, by nature of the universe and by the will of my higher power...God/Goddess...Alah...Shiva...Krishna...Durga...Kali....Masculine...Feminine...all is one anyway.




We all have a great purpose...and sometimes...often times...that requires many different deeds...We just have to trust and have faith, and the universe always provides...it's the law of attraction. It's the way of the world...it's nature...it is love. Pure, powerful, raw, unconditional LOVE...

Namaste...for reals this time... <3 br="">

Let's Get Real

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

~Steve Furtick


True story. I can absolutely, 100% relate. It is so very easy to watch ourselves become jealous of someone else's "picture perfect" life, especially in this social media consumed age. Now, I just have to make it clear before continuing on, that I am not saying I am against social media or that I am blaming social media for any sort of negativity or anything like that...I just have a few thoughts I've been pondering as of late.


Picture this:
You are an avid 'yogi'/'yogini' living in a tropical climate by the ocean, or living up high in the mountains with breathtaking scenery all around you. You can balance in hand stands forever, and you're extremely flexible and can do the most difficult yoga postures known to man... yeah...If I were that person, I would probably be snapping photos of myself in the middle of beautiful nature, in some sort of crazy twisted yoga posture.


...People do it all the time. Take instagram for instance. Hash tag this (#), hash tag that... Challenge this, challenge that...who can do the best hand stand in the best location...who can put their feet farthest behind their head...and THEN do an arm balance...


For a while, I found myself getting caught up in all the IG monthly challenges. It was fun, I tried new things, and it kept me busy...but the time I spent getting into a pose was nothing compared to the time I spent analyzing myself in the photo. I was constantly comparing myself to others, and even felt myself becoming jealous of my IG peers. It wasn't healthy. It became a competition. It was no longer yoga. . .


You see, what we see on IG isn't always true reality. Just because someone has a perfect posture in a perfect environment, doesn't mean that this person has a perfect life. They could be truly hurting inside, or not in a good place in life, or not happy in general. It made me start thinking..."could I be making people feel bad about themselves too?" Probably... The truth of nature is this...how we perceive the world is but a reflection of ourselves...A lense which goes deeper within than imaginable.


I stopped doing IG challenges, because I started to realize that the competition wasn't for me.. Yoga means so much more to me than a photo on instagram. Yes, I do post pictures of myself in a hand stand or in a pose from time to time...but more for the purpose of being artistic. I have a love for photography, the body, and yoga. But I have vowed to not mess with the angle of a photo as a means to make my pose (or body) better (skinnier, stronger, etc) anymore...


My whole reason for posting this is to let people know that there is more to a person that what they post (or don't post) for the world to see...and whatever they do post, don't take it personally by thinking that they "have it better" than you. Each and every one of us has our own lives to live...we should not be obsessing over the life of another person, wishing our life was more like theirs...that's just wasting our lives away...


I had a conversation with one of my yoga buddies on the way to Flagstaff for a workshop I attended with Christina Sell last weekend, where we talked about how a lot of people have become yoga teachers for the sake of self fulfillment, and not primarily to be 'of service'. It's a hot career choice these days, especially for women...there is a lot of beauty industry forcing its way into the world of yoga, and honestly...frankly...it does not belong there. Yoga is not about how the body looks. It does not matter whether you are overweight, underweight, or even 'just right'...(what is 'just right' anyway)...It does not matter whether you wear Lululemon or your favorite pajama pants to yoga class...your ability to move comfortably matters. Your self worth does not depend on a yoga pose, yoga clothes, or your body type, whether your skin is clear or broken out. Your self worth depends on you alone, without any outside influence. We are our own person, and beautiful just the way we are. There's nothing wrong with who you are. If you want to do something to change your appearance, do it for you alone...not for someone else.


In the workshop, Christina stated "It works if it works, except for when it doesn't"...hey, totally applicable in life as well as in yoga. What works for someone else may not work for you--in yoga, in life, etc. It's not a one-size fits-all world we live in. We are all different, we think different...HELL! You may not agree with what I'm writing here, but that's totally okay as well. What kind of a world would it be if we didn't all have different thoughts, ideas, and beliefs? I think it'd be kind of lame to be honest. The fact of the matter is, we just need to start being more real with who we are. We need to stop pretending to be someone we are not. We need to just follow our bliss and be confident with ourselves, and not let others influence our own happiness...It's no one else's to claim but ours. We need to stop comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel, and start living our lives the in the truest and most honest way.


All of this has been floating through my head for the past few days...and damn does it feel good to finally get it all out...


Namaste.