Me, trying to Unblock my Writers' Block

I remember coming to my little writing space, opening up my lap top to a blank page, thinking, "I'm going to write today." only...to find myself getting distracted and losing track of time, completely forgetting what I had originally intended to do. So, I left the apartment, went to yoga, then went to work, and came home at eleven something at night, to find my computer screen sitting there, still on the blank page that I had intended to write on. By then, I was like "fuck it." pardon my language. "I'm tired." And I went to sleep. Here I am now, throwing up my thoughts onto this page in no particular order, because I just feel like writing, and nothing is going to stop me now. :D

I've been having a lot of major insights lately; lots of synchronicities and interesting experiences which brought me those insights. I feel pretty fortunate to have the life that I have, to be living and breathing, to be easily entertained by mother nature and its bipolar way of being. I feel so fortunate and so blessed to be surrounded by the people I know; to get the chance to see and interact with many of them on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. I'm grateful for the connections I am able to have with others, because it helps me to feel that sense of oneness that many of us so often crave and desire.

I've been going at it pretty hard for the past few months; practicing yoga daily; not only the asana, but also the yoga of the mind. I've been working hard, long hours, not only at my job, but in general. I've been working on myself full time. I've been finding hidden treasures beneath the surface of myself, as well as dust and mold and grime that I've been working to clear out. A lot of my insights revolve around self love, self care, self worth, self confidence, and self respect...but these insights pour into the love, care, worth, cofidence, and respect that I have developed for others. Life is always a two way street. What you give, you get back the same in return. One of my co-worker friends was playing with a water toy in the office, and was squirting people, and pulled the trigger, only to find the water coming out of the toy backwards, soaking her more than anyone else. She goes "dang! That's some quick karma!" For sure...That's how I see life. Sometimes karma comes back at us as quickly as the action we made; but other times, it can wait months, or even years to come back at us. The thing to remember is that everything that happens to us, happens for a reason. We are here on this earth to learn and to grow. We are here to become better, to help each other...to love.

I often forget the importance of rest, and I'll drive myself into a wall before I realize I'm in overkill. It's my tendency that I'm working on changing. Today I rested before work, whereas I would normally kick it at a yoga studio somewhere and sweat my buns off. Of course, to me, it's not JUST about the sweat or the workout or the toning and trimming. Those are just extra benefits to my practice. The reason it's so hard for me to take a break, I think lies in the matter that my practice is my spiritual food. I feel nourished after a session. I feel renewed and refreshed in my mind and spirit, and sometimes even my body feels more energized; other times my body feels tired...and that is when I realize I need to rest for at least a day or two...so I do...now.

I am going out of town to Flagstaff for a yoga workshop with Miss Stephani Lindsey, and I am extremely grateful that I'm able to attend and pay for it. I'm also grateful that a few of my friends are going to be there as well. I have a feeling that this weekend is just what I need...Emerge from your Chrysalis State...that is the title of this workshop.
"A self made sanctuary... A place for change and growth...a chrysalis is created in anticipation of both." ~ K. D'AngeloIn a sense, this life we live is lived in a chrysalis state- from which we learn and grow and change over time, emerging into something more beautiful, just as the butterfly emerges from its cocoon and flies gracefully through the wind, sipping on the nectar of life from the flowers it encounters, just as we take each lesson in life as a gift...as if each lesson were a wild flower, filled with the nectar which feeds our spirit so that we can learn, grow, and experience the beauty that all of life truly is.

I feel like life breaks you to make you stronger. I feel like my life does anyway. It's typically in my most vulnerable and emotional times that I experience the most out of my life. I experience humility, support, cleansing, and starting over....and starting over is always going to be an option, no matter where you are in life. I truly believe that.

I think this is enough dialogue for the night. Goodnight all. Love.