If you haven't cried by then end of 2012, you must have been MIA...I'm not talking baby tears. I'm talking full on sob-mania. There is just something about this year in particular, that has been extremely heavy on the heart; not only for myself, but for at least 95% of the people I know. Whether we have faced death, breakups, unrequited love, physical illness, depression, or anxiety, we have all experienced something, or maybe some things that have made this year an extra difficult one. Collectively, we have all suffered or are currently suffering the pain of separateness...loneliness...no matter how many friends we make, or how much socializing we do, by the end of the day, we come home, take off our "I'm perfectly fine" mask, and everything settles back into reality. The dishes sit dirty in the sink, the laundry pile is mountain high on the bed, the bills sit passively on the table, the dog still needs to be walked and fed, dinner still needs to be made...but wait, I have no food, and the store is closing soon.... and so on...the list never ends, it seems, and the cycle repeats itself day after day...this is the life of the average adult...or pretty close to it. This is where I am grateful for my daily practice...yoga, meditation, breathing, writing, reading...these activities seem to make my life a lot more mindful, as well as meaningful, and I find that when I perform these activities regularly, I'm a much happier and well centered human being. But what happens when we are knocked off course? What happens when we receive bad news, or are criticized, or are faced with a serious problem of some kind? What is it that we do? Some people say "just be calm, and it will get better" I used to say that...I used to live by that principle...but there are others who say, "Let yourself have your mood, damnit!" and I am starting to live by this. Emotions are felt, because they need to be felt. Emotions are there, not to be ignored or numbed, but to be processed and understood. They are God given blessings, no matter how much they hurt, or for how long they hurt. If they are just placed on the back burner to be forgotten about and untended to, then the pile will quickly add up, and it won't take much in order to reach a breaking point. I say, feel the little agitations, the little bouts of sadness, the little bouts of anger and heartache. Allow tears to flow when they start to swell your eyelids...don't force them back...it isn't healthy. The breaking point is an unhealthy place to come to...bad thoughts accompany this level of unkempt emotional baggage. Allow all emotions to process before coming to this point. Allow yourself to understand and accept why it is that you are feeling so.
Today was Christmas. It's a holiday of great joy and gathering. It was the darkest day of the year, and what is supposed to be the most joyous and celebrated day, landed on the darkest and most emotional day for many. There was Christmas yoga today at Yoga Oasis studio, which I am extremely grateful for. I have been on the edge of tears for the past few days, because of some news that I recieved, as well as other emotions that were due for processing. It was a 1hr 15min class, and I cried the whole time. Even in Savasana. The best part is, I didn't try to stop it. I just let it flow, just like I was letting my body flow. The heart openers really got me rolling, thank God for that...in all honesty, and the tear flow and heart sobbing continued a good few hours after. After class, I found support and love from some of my dearest peers. We talked about how if only everyone were more real, the world would be such a better place. We ask each other all the time, "How are you?" and the response, "I'm good, and you?" and the response, "I'm good, thanks." And about 90% of the time, it's complete b.s. We need to stop with the b.s. and get real in order to heal humanity. We're all in the same boat. We all go through pain and heartache. We all experience love and death. We all know! We all understand! We just need to let go and let love in. Why is it that we are so afraid to trust each other? If we all had faith and trusted in one another, imagine what would become of this world. I'm not saying go forth and tell everyone all of your problems. What I am saying is that when you are hurting, when you are in pain, don't just let yourself be there alone. Chances are, there's someone in your life willing to listen and be there. And if someone comes to you, hurting...remember that you would want the same support if you are in pain. Life is reciprocal. We get back what we give. It's the law of nature. That's just the way it is. So I leave this here...as I just needed to process my own thoughts and insights after a very emotional and dark day. Thankfully, I had friends who reminded me of the light within. Namaste.
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