Anything can happen

I just feel like giving you guys an update. :) I'm not feeling super philosophical at the moment, because I'm sleepy and I'm having a bit of an issue in my left forearm, so it's a little difficult to type without any pain. I am trying not to use my pinkie or ring finger, and keep my wrists down as I type to make it easier. :P

The pain started about a week ago...it was just a twinge that I thought was nothing and was going to go away fast. It ended up getting a lot worse, and today it's pretty painful, maybe because I had super Dr. Eric mess with it yesterday when I went to see him to get a rib back in, and then today I finally got the guts to tell Steph that my arm was bothering me. I hate admitting that something's wrong. I don't like having an injury. It makes me feel like a failure...but I'm working on that. I know that this isn't from yoga...I remember it started at work last week, and then I worked all weekend in the kitchen. It's probably from lifting heavy things. I'd assume so...it could be more than just one thing contributing. I'm really watching how I place my hands in yoga practice. Anyway, I got my arm manhandled by Stephani after telling her (it was painfully good...I'm so grateful). She mentioned it could be partly a shoulder issue. Anyway, I have to shout out to the world that she's a FANTASTIC masseuse. Go to her.

The word of the day was Playfulness, and then there was the phrase, "anything can happen"...for sure. You never know.

I wish I would have said something about my arm sooner, and maybe it wouldn't be so bad right now. I mean, it's not the end of the world or anything, it's just that I could have prevented it from getting to this point. I did my research on the area, and found out that it appears to be ECU tendonitis (extensor carpi ulnaris). I did the diagnostic test I found online (pretty cool that you can do that these days). It hurt in the places it said it would if the ECU was involved. The joints connecting my wrist to my ulna, and my ulna to my elbow are where it hurts the most. It also hurts on the back of the hand in between the ring and pinkie fingers. I'm also feeling some tendonitis pain in my left ankle from an old soccer injury. I'm going to juice up on ginger and turmeric this week, starting tomorrow (anti-inflamitory aides of nature!). :)  anyway, enough of that. 

Besides the arm issue, I just wanted to write about how grateful I am lately, and that I feel so blessed to be where I am today. School is going well, and I am almost finished. I am excited to start a new chapter in my life, but I'm also improving at being 'in the moment'. It's great. I'm having an easier time paying attention in my school classes now. It was a rough road last semester, trying to find that balance.

I have amazing friends that I've been able to share good words and lots of love with. I'm in love with them, and I'm so happy to be sharing this life with such wonderful kindred spirits.

Tabetha and I got a new roommate. Her English name is Judy; she's from China, but has lived in the states a while. The only downer is that she doesn't speak much English, nor does she understand it; but at least we can share smiles. That's always nice :) She's in her upper 30s, and she's always cleaning our dishes. Pretty sweet, and kind of a miracle. ha! She just wants to, so I guess I don't see anything wrong wiith that. Tabetha and I are a little OCD though, so we have to check to see if they are clean. It's pretty hilarious.

I feel like I was going to write about something in particular earlier today, but I forgot what it was...I'm sure it'll come back to me in the next few days, and I'll be on that. I just wanted you all to know I'm hanging in there, and that I hope you all are too! Never forget we're all in this life together. I've got to remind myself every day. 

Take care, Love and Wellness to you all! And please pray for me and my tendon issues lately. I'd really appreciate the kind loving thoughts <3

 oh, and...'If you want, ask, or pray for something, be willing to trust the process...

 because the process isn't always the lightest, easiest, or the brightest.

xoxo

Cyclical

Life goes in cycles...our mood goes in cycles...nature goes in cycles...everything pretty much goes in cycles. Picture a circle (Or check out the diagram I made)...In every circle, there will be a high point (climax), a low point (ditch), and points that lead to both the climax and the ditch. Momentum is what keeps us going, so that we don't get stuck in one space...but what happens when the momentum weakens? We find ourselves either stuck in one spot, or rolling back and forth, between the two in-betweens of the circle, not getting enough power to push through and make full circle.

This is what I call being in a ditch. You may have another name for it; like "plateu" or something. It is where you end up when you are having trouble in a certain area in life, and are having a hard time making decisions related to that struggle within you...so the universe holds you there until you learn the lesson. The lesson learning is our momentum. We continually learn new things, and those new pieces of knowledge and wisdom are what push us to the next level in whatever part of a cycle we are in. Once we reach the climax, we can be sure to expect a new teaching to be brought into our awareness, and to have to repeat the cycle all over again, if we desire to make another full circle... I know that I desire to go full circle in every lesson which is brought into my life. I am grateful to have already made maybe tens of thousands of full circles already in this lifetime, but I know that there are more to come. We are always in a cycle. We never stop. We can get really slow, or we can get crazy fast, but the cyclic nature of all that is will never cease. Here, we can either find fear, or we can choose to find comfort. Most of us fall into fear more often than not, myself included. It is a part of what makes us human. What is amazing is that we can become aware of our tendencies such as the tendency to fear or to reside in anxiety, and through the simple act of watching and shifting our thoughts, we can breathe there, and make the uncomfortable more comfortable in doing so.

I've been battling anxiety after anxiety moreso than usual in these past few weeks. Burried insecurities and thoughts have found their way to the surface...not to annoy me, but to be alleviated...healed...let go of. I just now realized this...as I am writing (I have so much gratitude for the gift of expression through writing). These particular entities do not want to be burried inside of me anymore. I don't want them burried inside of me anymore. They no longer serve me or those who are near and dear to me. They've done their duty and have taught me the lessons that I needed to learn from them...so now the work is in letting go, so that I can make another full circle,completing yet one more small cycle within the larger cycle of a larger cycle of a larger cycle... and continue on.

I hope that this helps you, as much as it helps me writing it... love <3
Namaste