Family and Christmas Time

I cannot tell you just how wonderful my time in Oklahoma has been. I have been able to see family that I haven't seen for between 3 to 12 years! I was just a little rascal, as well as my other cousins, specifically on my grandmother's side of the family, the last time I saw them all. It is remarkable how different we become, how our looks and personalities change, yet...the family bond is always there. There were some people who I honestly did not remember, but we all just clicked without any effort at all...before you knew it, we were outside playing washers and kicking around a good time.

Christmas has been different this year...in a very, very good way. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to have been able to spend this season with a large portion of my family.
I may have been robbed of experiencing this love and unity for most of my life, but I could never fully express how grateful I am that I could receive such a gift this Christmas. I finally know again, the joy Christmas brings...the love and warmth of family that comes along with it.

My cup is overflowing with Thanksgiving.

Merriest Christmas to All.

All my love, and may peace be with you on this holiday season.

Ashley

I love being here

Children are definite reminders of the beauty of life. I love that I can spend time with them, because they are just so innocent at such a young age. "These are the greatest"...and they truly are.

I have been hanging out with my cousin Amanda and her family for the past couple of days. It's crazy how we don't realized how long it really has been, until we start catching up, and realizing how much has been missed.

We talked for hours and hours, and I feel like we can still talk more. There is PLENTY to talk about, so there won't ever be a problem in that category ;)

My other cousin Lucinda, and Amanda, and I ate dinner and had a good girls' night out last night. I heard it snowed in parts of Oklahoma last night, but where I am, we didn't get any- but that's okay. There is still time for miracles to happen :)

Tonight I am heading up to my brothers and sisters Christmas get together for more visiting and more catching up. I can't wait!

Take care everyone! I may not write again until after Christmas. Lots of action to journal about after that.

Merry Christmas!!

Love,

Ashley

Life at Grandma's

CLICK TO READ THE WHOLE THING : Life at Grandma's: I finally arrived at the Will Rogers Air Port around 1530 on Monday, December 19. It has been raining ever since I left Tucson. Dallas was t...

In Texas, they really don't make their salads any bigger- just the serving size of meat and cheese that they put on top! And yes, I removed it. People were watching me too...

Oh well :-)

Day One - The Mission to Okie Land

This morning, I woke around 0500 to George Winston's variation of Carol of the Bells. He is by far one of my favorite piano artists of all time, and can make any piece sound extraordinary. I am so excited to be going to Oklahoma. It has been 10 years since I last spent a real Christmas with my whole family.

Mom is funny :) She wants to know when I land right when I land wherever I land. She about yelled at me for not telling her I made it through security...calm down mom :) Love you.

I will be leaving at 0905 from gate A7 in the Tucson Air Port. I can't hardly wait! As I am awaiting my boarding time, I am sipping on a nice cup of hot coffee from the Ike's coffee stand - it's delicious, and it is the only cup of coffee I plan on having today.

Final exams were killer, but I pushed through them. I definitely had enough coffee for a family and a half...twice a day during those last couple of weeks...but in the end, it was all completely worth it--even the monstrous migraine I had from caffeine withdraw the next day. But now, all is well, and I am enjoying my break thus far. Yesterday and the day before were extra special, and bitter sweet for me...but I will cherish those moments within my heart for a lifetime.

God is good, and he continues to bless me in ways that sometimes I cannot even comprehend, and I am very grateful for this new day of life that I live and breathe...

Remember that even though what you do may be insignificant, it is important for you to wake up every day and do it...no matter what.

:)

I will keep all of you posted on my trip, and I wish you all the best of Christmas, and safe travels wherever you may go.

Much Love,

Ashley

I'm glad that I did

Remember the importance of some of the people and the things in your life...remember to not make decisions you may regret... Take the risks that are worth taking and make sacrifices worth making. Do not make assumptions that are outside of you, because many times, you may find yourself to be wrong.
I had originally planned to skip out on something, just because my heart was in the wrong place...but I powered through that doubt, and I did what felt right....and for that, I am glad that I did.

Love and Hugs,

Ashley

Short Update of my Life

I have finally completed my 5th semester at the University of Arizona, and I have only 2 more to go. I actually think I may graduate by December, 2012. It's extremely exciting for me!

I am about ready to take my trip to Oklahoma... I will be gone for two weeks, and I cannot wait to see my family. It has been 10 years since I have spent Christmas there...quite the reunion, for sure. I will post pictures and stories while there, and I hope you all enjoy them.

Today I met a girl just like me. She has just moved to Tucson, from Alaska...when I asked her what made her want to come here, she told me, "I honestly have no idea...it just felt right." While we have some things in common, like the way we eat, our hobbies, and our interests, there is still something even more special about this whole thing...our faith. Someone who shares the same belief has come here, to Tucson, unexpectedly...but so very welcome. There was an immediate bond, and I can say nothing more than how thankful I am for what God does, on a moment by moment basis...He teaches us not to doubt by doing little (sometimes big) things in our lives to help us 'see'...

I am so glad to have a friend so near. I am looking forward to getting to know her better.


Tomorrow, I will be going to a ceremony for someone who has been a huge part of my life for almost 3 years now... and although he does not wish to continue as friends, he will always take up a special place within my heart.
In the past few months, I have expressed anger, sadness, joy, and peace regarding the situation, and it has taken me much time to understand, and some things I still do not understand, but time will give me that at some point.
Never have I ever experienced anything like this before...but people say that there is a first time for everything...

...sometimes it's a one way street, and there is nothing that can be done to change it.

I have promised myself to let go of the things I love the most in this world...and to be patient for what God has promised to me. That's all I really can do, isn't it...to wait, and to watch.

God, Grant me the Serenety...

I feel as if my balance has been slightly off lately...
There are probably several things that have effected this; some things I can change, and then there are those things that I cannot change, but that I have to find some way to accept.
Every morning, when I wake up, I walk out of my bedroom, and I see on the wall across the hallway:
God, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". That little prayer has had a lot of meaning in my life, and I am sure that it applies to many other lives as well. Pulling through the hard times is not always an easy thing to do, no matter how much positive talk you give yourself or receive from others. It always comes down to what's going on inside of the sufferer... A battle that no other human being could decipher... a battle that only you know...and that you know it to be difficult.

I know...
I am there, battling my own battles, at this very moment. I know what you are feeling, what you are going through...I know this, because I know that we are all fighting our own pains and weaknesses. Although different, they are very much the same in a way. We all struggle differently, but no struggle is more difficult than any other.

I think we can all relate to a feeling of loss... it hurts...it hurts really bad--and we all know that there are many different types of loss, and that some may seem to hurt much more than another type of loss we may have had before.

The loss of a friend or loved one to death
The loss of a friend or loved one to death or damage of the relationship
The loss of a job
The loss of a home
The loss of happiness, and what it feels like to live.

There are these...and there are many, many more...

I cannot give advice or words on defeating that pain...other than to pray and give your heart time to be mended and strengthened.We are people who feel...all of us. We all know what it is like to feel loss...but it does not mean that we have to suffer the hurt forever...for,we must believe that this too shall pass...and you will return to balance.

All the love that I can give, I give to you.

Ashley

He who cannot be seen

God gives us two arms
To embrace ourselves
When we are all alone...

I am thankful
That he gives me reasons
To turn to him
To need him
To reach out to him

Trials
That bring me closer to him
Love
That I can give and recieve
Friends
Who love me
Faith
So that I can believe

I know now that pain does not last forever
We only choose whether or not we let pain cave us in

We have the choice...
To reach out
Or to hide within

Though hiding...it only worsens the pain
And lengthens the process of healing

Today...I am grateful

I have a mighty and loving God.
He who cannot be seen
Strengthens and encourages me

He who cannot be seen
Can be the only one to know my suffering

He who cannot be seen
Knows how much it hurts

...and he knows the only way to comfort me.

He who cannot be seen
Wraps his strong and mighty arms around me

And he tells me:
"it will be okay...you'll see"

He gives me patience and he gives me faith to hold onto
When there's nothing left to hold on to

And when there is nothing left to hold onto
I will always have He...who cannot be seen

Everyone fights a hard battle

Remember that everyone in the world fights a hard battle. It is important to help one another, rather than oppose and fight with each other. We are all human, and none of us are the picture of perfection. Love one another and have faith in your relationships; whether it be family, friends, or romantic. Be there...stay there...and do not fear what you cannot control.

Cherish your friends, and keep them close...through both the good and the bad times. A cherished friendship is a nurtured and mended relationship; a bond that cannot be broken by even the sharpest sword.

To give unconditional love is one thing, to receive it is another. To have both is a blessing; and that type of blessing leaves room for growth.

Much love to my readers, those subscribed, and those unsubscribed. Thank you for reading.

Ashley

"we all have fears and fear is constructive in that it helps us learn about ourselves"

In a believer's shoes...: Thankful for the Blessings

In a believer's shoes...: Thankful for the Blessings: I'm extremely glad that I had this entire 5 day weekend to relax and to pray. I did good amounts of studying here and there, but not too muc...

These high paced times we live in...

In a Believer's Shoes - Blog

I am thankful

God sings me lullabies of grace
My soul is nourished...
My cup overflows with joy and peace
Oh, how can I ever be more thankful

"Abba"
Daddy...
I am one of your own
Oh, dearest father
Never let me go...


My heart is filled with prayers...oh so many precious prayers. The most important of which is that I always remain believing. I have never felt more blessed than I do on this very day. This blessed feeling continues to grow as I continue to grow in faith.
I am always like a child; always wanting to learn...how can I be more like you, and less like the whole wide world?

"My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak"
Oh Father, guide me...for I am so very weak. I fall and I stumble all so frequently.

Dear Father, please carry me
for I have grown so weary...
Do not let me leave your sight
But rather hold me in your arms so tight.

Do not let me go from here
In you I find security
In you I find such hope and peace...
You alone put my heart at ease

In you I let my spirit run free
Your light shines brightly into me

I cast even my smallest prayers on you
And ask, if it be your will...
Oh dearest Lord, please... could you...

I have so much I ask for
Yet I have so much more to be thankful for

I am thankful
I am thankful
From the bottom of my fragile heart...
Thankful

Thankful...

You decide.

Today, a brief word with a friend made me look at life in a different light.

The things that we do--the way in which we live--whatever lifestyle it is that we have chosen...it does not and will not ever just affect us.

It affects the children that we could one day have...
The children for which we would wish good health, a good life, and a life of all the joys that could be made possible.

If we have chosen to be destructive to ourselves, no matter if it is emotionally or physically, our children will suffer the consequences...and I do not think that it is fair for a child to suffer illness because the mother was a smoker, a drinker, or a junkie. Even if she was battling the diseases of the self -- depression, anxiety, anorexia, or bulimia.... the child will still suffer in some way.

I know that I cannot change the world...but I also know that if I can do anything, let that be to treat my body and my spirit with the love and care it needs. Let it be a movement of the self...to treat it with loving kindness and to be grateful that it was given to me as a gift...so that I could live.

We are, after all, meant to live and then die once we have lived a long and fulfilling life...

We should not die as victims of disease

And children especially should never die from the things which can be prevented by the simple act of me, you, and us, doing the right thing -- living in health and wellness, promoting vitality, and by walking away from our unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.

We can all walk into health together... but the question I leave for you today is.... will you?

An evening of calm

It's been a long time...

Time is one of the most precious things we have. We learn so much with time, and it stands beside us until we leave this world.

My life has been nothing short of a story of struggle, growth, tragedy, and loss...it is a book filled with highs and lows, happy and sad...but most importantly, my life is an example of change...and good change it is.

Only a couple of years ago, I was still just a child; unaware of many of life's obstacles and dangers -- only living, because I knew I had to...but now, 2 years later, I find my life as being filled with purpose; so many opportunities, so many plans, and sometimes nothing but pure and honest faith to get me to where I am going. Sometimes; or most of the time, I have no idea how I am going to do those things or get to those places...but I know in my heart that I will; and that I have to be patient.

...I am going home -- soon... but on the way I have many things I must do. I have lessons to learn, people to meet, lives to change, and tasks to complete. I'm not just living to live...I am living for you, and I am living for everything that I know. I am living for a purpose other than my own. I am given the freedom to do as I please, but the choices I make are not for me.

On this quiet and tranquil evening, I find myself here as I am, and I understand that I am different -- I am not the same; I have become much more different of a person than I ever imagined myself to be. It's the feeling of starting all over again-- receiving a new and untainted gift to live. Freely believing and taking each breath as it comes to me. I surrender to the beating of my heart; the equilibrium of life...the essence of time. I just become me, and me is who I am...no different than you, yet, none the same it seems.
----

Lately, I have felt the inspiration to write come back to me; it seems to come and go...but when it comes back, I know that it is because I've been able to get back in touch with the peace and the still in my soul...of which is something that I never again want to let go...

...and 'letting go'....is a subject for yet another day...I suppose.

Goodnight and Sweet Dreams

-Keeper of the Ash Tree

Beauty without Fruit

A beautiful face without a beautiful heart is incomplete in its beauty; but a beautiful heart without a beautiful face has a beauty that is no less than complete.

We often times judge a book by its cover, and do not consider the heart beneath a face. One can be beautiful in appearance; but does their heart truly reflect beauty? One cannot determine whether another is beautiful until first opening the heart and by listening to it speak.

Beauty is warming-- and in true beauty, there is love. It speaks of grace and life... love and hope.
False beauty is merely of the flesh; when our eyes decieve our own hearts, and we pay no mind to the truth

Beauty that is true will radiate out into the world and into the lives of people. It will shine like the stars of a clear night sky. It will move mountains. It will make peace between enemies, and show strength in our spirits.

What is beauty without love....without hope...without faith?

Beauty, like love, must be felt -- because if you can only see it, and not feel it, it is untrue....but if you can feel it - regardless of whether or not you see it - then you will know in your own heart that beauty is real.


*Daily Insight

<3 Ashley

Life and Love

Life springs from deep within. Every day it begins again; fresh, as if life has given us new stems. We reach for the sun on this glorious day--to feel its warmth and to gather its rays. We breath in the fresh air, and we let it all out; knowing that love is, without a doubt...

Each morning, we awake to find a bright and shining sun, air to breath, a life to live, and people to love. Love is carried deep within us; some desire to express it, and others--to hide it. Love is not merely an emotion or a feeling....love is genuine and meaningful. Love is omnipresent. It is all around us. It is in the air we breathe, the promises we keep, the bed we sleep, the people we meet. Love is everlasting and it cares for us completely....it is LOVE....

Love has no ultimate meaning; only that it is Love, and merely Love....just as "I am that I am"; love is, that it is....

Do you love...?
I do.

We choose to live our lives the way that we do...are we happy? Are we angry? Are we sad.....

We choose whether or not living is joyous or if it is not. We decide.

When we learn to love all things; we find greater happiness, and we no longer put ourselves before all matters. We learn to put all matters before ourselves; and in the end, we find that we are at peace with the present, not worried of the future, and not dwelling in the past.
We are content with ourselves, because also, ourselves we have learned to love....

We live in the now...the present is a gift; that is why it is called the "present"...it is a gift of new life, new love, new peace, new breath...totally and completely new...

This gift is deep within you...
Let it shine and let it show you. You are capable; and you know it is true.

Even if you feel that your whole world is crashing down on you; you can still pull through. You are not alone, and you are no less than any other human being breathing on this very Earth. You are loved, and not alone....loved....and never...no not ever alone...

Just reach out and Love will carry you.... With Love, you'll make it through...This, I promise you.

"This too shall pass"

Anxiety is doubt; and doubt is the absence of faith...even if for only a moment. Trust is essential to living a good life...a life of peace, balance and harmony. We often forget what it means to trust fully and wholly. We find ourselves wrapped up in the worries of this life, but we must remember that "this too shall pass"...Even for the high points, remember: "This too shall pass"...we must remain level-headed and remain humble...

Trials are God's way of teaching. I feel that when I am suffering, that is when I feel His presence the most. I trust that I am not alone and that there is a love that carries me farther and longer than anything ever could. There is a hope that is far greater than anything I could ever imagine. There is something that comes of these trials and of the trials to be that gives us new strength and teaches us new things. The lessons never end...the trials never end...but each and every one will end when the time is right.

We are given choices in this life...we decide which path to travel. We can make it easier or harder, but in the end, we will always find ourselves in the best position we could ever possibly be.

Today, I take one more step forward, and I just keep looking ahead. I know that good things will come, and that I will be very blessed...and I already am.

Tonight I want to go to sleep remembering the things I have learned, and remembering to just believe...

Every day is a new beginning, and a new chance to start over. I do not wish to carry over the worries of today into tomorrow...for tomorrow has new worries, new trials, and new teachings. Tomorrow has not come yet, and yesterday has ended...so for now, I remember to smile, breathe, love, and to just be....

There is something so precious about this day...and that, I will hold on to. What is precious and good will carry us far and wide--we are not alone, no...never alone. We just have to understand that and let that get us through our day.

...and remember...."This too shall pass"

All my love,

Ashley

Ah, Balance...

Balance in life is essential to our health and wellbeing--balance of the social, the physical, the spiritual, the mental, the biological, and the emotional. Without balance, we may not be as healthy as we could, and can therefore cause damage to ourselves and even spread that damage to those who love us.

For those who live to work, I encourage you to take some time for yourself and with your loved ones. I know how it is...just by talking with others and experiencing "workaholism" myself with in my own life...but, I find that when I am solely working and schooling, not finding time to do fun things with my close friends or family, I'm not as happy, nor do I do as well in school or work as I could. I think that it is biologically, spiritually, emotionally, and physically important to have that connection with friends and family. When was the last time you were embraced in a true hug that meant everything to you? It's that connection that gives us more of a purpose and meaning in our lives. We need each other...people don't thrive alone forever.

Solitude is also important for all human beings. Alone time is often time to think, pray, plan, clear the clutter from our heads, and even more. Alone time gives us the time and space to get to know ourselves better, and to reconnect with ourselves after possibly having a time of no connection whatsoever.

I see it this way--that one will never find time for anything in life...and because of this, he or she must MAKE time...this crucial balance is essential for us to live a life of joy and vitality.

Make your goal be to make more room in your lives to do more of the things that you love, so that you can find that inner sense of balance that may have possibly been lost for...well...a very long time or even a very short time. Whatever the case may be, just remember the importance of a life of balance.

Thank you,

Ashley :)

PS> Please follow my friend's blog as he bikes across the US for Children's Heart(WA to ME). Follow this link to see what he's doing now! Thank you :)
http://www.petey4kids.blogspot.com

Scorpions STING!

Hey there, to those of you who read my blog :)

This isn't my typical blog, but I just thought I'd share a funny(ish) story with all of you.
A couple nights ago, I was just laying down in bed to go to sleep...when all of a sudden, I feel this sharp pain in the back of my right thigh. I jumped out of bed like a crazy person, turned on the light, nothing was on me...but I had 4 red circles of PAIN where I felt the sting.

So, I thought, "Okay...there is SOMETHING in my bed. Whether it is a spider or a scorpion, I am finding it...NOW. Well, I found it rather quickly as I looked through my sheets. The Arizona Bark Scorpion crawled anything but peacefully across the top of the bed.
"OH MY GOSH!" I exclaimed...I was the only one home...as always, but that meant I had to take care of this scorpion problem all by myself, like the big girl I am. So, what do I do...?

"Oh, a tea cup...." I dumped out the tea and trapped the scorpion inside the cup rather quickly. It drowned in a little of the liquid I left inside the cup, and I flushed it down the toilet.
Normally, if I catch a scorpion, I let it outside...but since the menacing thing stung me, not once but 4 times, I decided to just get rid of it.

After that whole ordeal, I finally could pay attention to my leg. By that time, my entire leg had started going numb. I called my mother, who got me to take Benadryl (sp?) and she also called my dad, a nurse, at work and he asked the doctor in the ER what to do. So I had also taken acetametophen (aleve), as well has had an ice compress where I was bit. I checked my bed for more creatures, and when I found none, I elevated my leg and stayed on the phone with mom for a while, who had to calm me down from an aparent panic attack. My whole body just went limp, That venom is strong. The neurotoxins can really mess you up.

It was hard to fall asleep with the pain and numbness, but I finally did. When I woke up, I felt incredibly weak, and my muscles and joints were extremely sore. I had to work later in the day, and almost called in sick...BUT I didn't. And for those of you who don't know, I ride my bike 6.5 miles to and from work (total: 13miles)...but after the ride to work, on the nice and cool day, I felt a bit refreshed, but still a little icky. I told my boss, and he told me I was awesome...so that made me feel better too. As the work day went on, I forgot all about the sting and ended up having a very FUN TASTIC day. My boss has also seen my artistic abilities with food, especially desserts, and he sometimes has me make the decorations on the plates, as well as plate the desserts and take them out. It is rather enjoyable :)

Anyhow, after getting home, taking a shower, and getting dressed, my grandpa from Oklahoma came and picked me up to go see the rest of the family. I went out to dinner with my brother Kyle, sister in-law (to be) Stacy, Cousins Joe, Lucinda, and their son Kevin. It was quite a good day.

Well, anyway, the moral of the story is: No matter how much life hurts, we have to toughen up and LIVE...because life doesn't wait for any one person. Positivity always makes things better, so get happy ;) and I mean it!!

I still have some body pain, but I think I'll survive. It will probably be gone by the end of the day or by tomorrow.

Have a great day everyone! and SMILE!!!

Smile with a Grateful Heart

I think that sometimes, we fall into this trap where we want to live up to the expectations of others--and if we do not, we feel that we have failed. Sometimes, even we have expectations for ourselves that may be a little bit overboard. It is something that I think every human being deals with at certain times in their lives.
One thing I have learned is that you can't expect to be like anyone other than yourself; and you shouldn't be. We are all individual people with individual talents and dreams. We all have our own ways with dealing with certain situations or with life in general.
It is not good to envy the talents of another person, because what they have, you may never have...but you will always have something just as good, even if it is something very different. God gives us each our own gifts, and we must use those gifts in the way that he has intended. I read in a book that 'he who has only one gift and takes it for granted, wishing he had someone else's gift, shall not be blessed...but he who has one gift and accepts and uses it shall be blessed with many other gifts as he lives his life with a grateful heart.'
Gratitude...it is something that many people do not give. In this world, in these times, the 'self' has such a high importance to most people living today. Gratitude is something 'of the past' that is not given much thought anymore. Gratitude is something special...and when it is given, it shines brightly throughout the world.
Just a simple thank you to someone can make that person smile with their heart, and want to spread that gratitude to other people they may meet. Like laughter, like love--gratitude is contagious...and the more that goes around, the more peace and harmony there exists within us...

With much gratitude to you and others, I leave my thoughts here.

Thank you,

Ashley

Light

Sometimes, I wonder what life would have been like if I had become an artist--like my uncle Tim, or my Cousin Lucy, or my friend Parker...

Would I be the same person I am today, or would I be someone completely different?

I do not know; but all I know is that where I am today is the best possible place that I could ever be; and that God has a plan for me in the here and now, as well as in the future.

I see it as this: He sends us on little journeys or missions to accomplish something--either to better ourselves or to benefit others...or maybe sometimes both.

Every year of my life, it seems as though it's all a little clearer. Things aren't so foggy anymore; and the "why me, why now?" questions begin to subside.

This time around, I feel as though I'm being followed around by a little light of hope and sunshine that warms both my heart and maybe even the hearts I interact with. People are such delicate and fragile creatures. One bad day can turn in to many, and it can seem as though nothing will ever be good again. It can feel this way, especially when our interactions with others become sour or bitter...either us being the sour or bitter one, or the target of sour and bitterness. Either way...

What I want more than anything now, is to just give--at least a little bit of hope--to those I cross paths with in this life. I know that when it was done for me when I was at my worst, it helped me to move on and to keep moving forward. I will always be grateful for the people who shined the brightest light on my troubled and tormented soul as I was growing from adolescence into adulthood. Now, I want to return that light; not only to those who gave it to me, but to the whole world.

Let your light shine on those you come in contact with; no matter who it may be. Just remember that out of all the people you meet and greet, one may really need that little piece of hope today...

Love and Blessings,

Ashley

Bad Day?

Bad days...they happen to all of us. This post does not pertain to me at the moment, but to the people I have interacted with in my most recent days.
I guess maybe it is just that "Finals" are in the air right now, therefore everyone is stressing and cramming to get the grades that they want so badly...projects, papers, exams...they are endless, I know--but what I have come to realize this semester is that, since I worked my absolute hardest in the beginning, my end is fairly un-stressful. Of course, I do know that there are others who have more going on in their lives, and here is what I have for them: Just smile, laugh, stay positive, and just believe that whatever you need to accomplish or want to accomplish, YOU CAN! You are AMAZING! Just look at yourself! :) Look at that amazing person called "YOU" in the mirror, and say, "Dude, Man, Girl, Honey, Mr./Ms./Mrs. AMAZING: You ARE awesome! You CAN succeed. You WILL NOT FAIL." :) Hey, I'm just saying.... :)

Another thing to bring up is that, if you are feeling alone or as if no one else really cares, think again--you are among MILLIONS who are in the same boat, and there are those who think of you often: maybe your family, your friends, your students, your teachers, etc. who look up to you for even just the smallest and least of reasons. Don't fret, and be strong. This is the time for you to really shine and to put your dreams into action! So here I am, giving you this much needed pep talk. YOU CAN DO IT! You just HAVE to believe in yourself and know that anything you desire to become or do in this life is absolutely possible. Just believe that. Trust yourself. I believe in you! Now, GO GET EM TIGER!!!

Best,

Ashley

Don't Stop

What a turnaround!
Wow, it was only a few days ago that I had been feeling down in the dumps and overly stressed about my current life situation--but man! What an incredible feeling to be back to my positive and light spirited self...

It just gives us a lesson, when we are feeling so low like I was, that lowness, sadness, stress, and all the things alike only do more damage than they do good. Having optimism and keeping your eye on the goal means staying on track and feeling good. It also means that you will do better at whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish.

There are some days that all of us experience, when we just don't understand why we are feeling so stressed out, or why there is "so much going on" in our lives at any given moment. Well, I will say this: You will never be given trials and tribulations that you cannot handle. This is just a simple fact of life that many people haven't quite gotten a grasp on yet. I know that I am still learning, maturing, and growing--thus I hope I never stop...It seems as though every day, I learn a lesson or two [from myself] as well as from those around me.

The thing to remember is that sometimes, you really are your own teacher. You go through many things, and you learn more about how you respond, and also how you deal with those situations. In the end, you finally learn a lot about who you are as a whole. You begin to see yourself as a unique individual with a unique relationship to yourself, those around you, etc.

Just remember that when times seem unbearable, just take a moment to stop, think, breathe, and sort everything out--one thing at a time--and you will see that things are really not all that impossible after all.

Know your limits, but also know yourself. Keep learning, because that is how we all become who we become. Listen not only to yourself, but also to those who surround you. Have a support system, because most people need that in order to survive--I know for a fact that I need that system, and I will always need that system. My system may be different than yours, but those who support me and keep me uplifted and keep me going are so incredibly important to me in my life...and I try to remember to thank God every day for such blessings.

Keep on reaching. Keep on going. Don't ever stop, and NEVER give up. You are absolutely capable of getting through every single part of life that comes your way. You are special like that. You are strong like that. You are smart, and you are able.

Don't stop now.

Young Man

Tonight I was given a reminder.

After a long day at work, I came home, cleaned up, and left around 8pm to find a study spot--thus I found one; a 24/7 cafe downtown Tucson, AZ. It is probably the last place any girl should be going by herself after hours, but I just went with my intuition and went there anyway.
I was about 2 hours into my studying, when a young man approached me, and asked if he could sit at my table. At first, I was a little hesitant, because this wasn't just any young man--he was a troubled young man...but I saw this, and granted him permission to sit.

So, I asked him, "where are you from?" and from there, we began to talk.
He was high on drugs, but at the same time, he was in desperate need of someone to talk to--so, I listened.

What a story he had to share with me.

Suddenly, so many words flowed from my mouth that I never knew I had inside of me; straight from the heart...words of love and wisdom that God had given me to comfort this troubled soul. We spoke of precious matters...and before I knew it, we had been talking for 3 hours--some of that time, which was silence.

I will never forget the young man who came in, shaking like a leaf, fearful, and full of pain...with an empty hole...which by the end of the visit had been filled with hope. Where there was no joy, I watched it appear and grow as we talked.

I had no idea until the end of my time at the little cafe, that God had sent me there to comfort a lost and tormented soul. The young man has no idea of the reminder he has given me--oh how precious it is to just believe!

I pray that this young man will soon find peace, and one day finally feel at ease...

I told him that these things don't just happen, and they are not by coincidence--but that what has happened tonight was entirely a work by the hand of God.

I had my Ipod sitting with me; and he asked to hear my music. I told him it was only classical music; classical and hymnal music...but he wanted to listen anyway. He listened to a few of the hymns, and I watched his face and body language shift from solemn to uplifted...and I asked him how he was feeling... "uplifted" he said...

He told me that he originally came into the cafe with the intention of finding people to party with, but that he has been incredibly touched by what he found instead...and thankful.

A young man who had entered my life without a smile, I left, smiling... as he was smiling...hopeful...

Oh how precious; the grace of God abundant...the soul that thirsts may drink...the weary heart that seeks...he may find rest and peace.

He uses us to plant the seed of faith into the hearts of others; and in awe, I am...

Feeling so unworthy, and weak in my own flesh, yet so grateful and so blessed. God is the source of all love within me...and he, in his many mysterious ways, always takes care to remind me.

Priceless Treasure

No, you are not invisible. You are perfectly existent and you do not deserve to be treated otherwise.

Every person is unique; and every person fights a hard battle. It does not matter who you are, where You are from, or what you do--you are different from everybody else; and that is perfectly okay. That is what makes you uniquely different.

Be true to your friends, your family, and most importantly yourself.

Be aware that some days are tougher than others, and that you do have the right to cry or to let out your feelings. Regardless of what other people may say, you must not suppress your anger, your sadness, your loneliness, or any other negative feeling you may have. If you can just get it out, tell a friend, write it down and burn it, or do something to export it from your heart, you will most likely feel 99% better.

My advice for today, for myself included--treasure your friends, and treasure yourself; but mostly--treasure your faith; because when all else fails, grace will save you.

Foodies R' Us

I am such a FOODIE! Homemade, and fresh: Cactus leaves, Sunflower Chokes, Fennel (root and herb), tomato, and onion.
Sunflower chokes taste like potatoes, and you can make them the same way. They are a lower carb option for those of you who watch that. Cactus leaves are easy. slice into strips, boil, add a pinch of baking soda to absorb the goo, drain, add to whatever you want. Fennel is amazing, and it smells like candy.

Just a ramble

This morning I woke early, before the light had dawned. I dropped mom and dad off at the airport so they could take their trip to Puerto Vallarta, MX. They will have tons and tons of fun. They always do! :)

It's pretty cold out, compared to what the weather has been like for the past few weeks. It's actually kind of nice. I love stormy weather, as it is a calming and relaxing thing for me.

I'm not the kind of person who goes back to sleep after waking up early for something like that...so I just stayed awake, studied a little, had a steaming cup of bliss (coffee), and chilled. I figured...why not take advantage of days like today? I, of course have to work from 10:30am to maybe early/mid afternoon; but I don't mind. I already feel like I've gotten things done today.

Tonight I may have friends over at my parents' home. I'm house sitting and was told I could have company if I wanted. I am hoping people come! It would be absolutely fantastic.

Enough of my rambling; I just wanted to clear out my thoughts before heading out the door.

Have a peaceful and beautiful day

Ashley

I just couldn't resist :)

Belongingness

Belongingness
Everything we ever want to feel
Love; one must know that it is real
Only joy shall dwell inside
Never fear or worry in life
God will take the pain away
In your heart, his love shall stay
Night turns day and day turns night
Given strength to see through strife
Next to you he'll always be
Every step of the way he'll help set you free
Somewhere down the road you'll find
Someone God has created to complete your life

Thanks to whoever's this photo is.

Define Me

I am not defined by a mere number
No, not I...

There is far more to me than the grades you see;
whether good, or not so good.

...I am defined by--me.

speechless

Really...this image speaks for itself.

This is what I get for wanting to become a Dietitian.

Thankful

Life is so wonderful; not perfect...no; never perfect...
But there is so much more meaning in mine than ever before.
The little things we take for granted, it's better that we don't ignore.
Be thankful and be kind.
Let your heart seek and find.
Find time to reflect as the day unwinds...

This week has been truly remarkable; touched by God, indeed. Each moment has been blessed, and each minute filled with rest. Such joy I find in my heart at this very moment. Such peace...
I find refuge in those escorts...those angels...those friends that my good and most gracious God has given me. I find strength in the sweetest, most precious words that can be spoken into my ears...that beautiful sound of strength, faith, love, hope, peace, and joy...and I am humbled and given that breath of fresh air so that I may move forward; never to look behind at what was, and never to look to what could have been; but only to look at what is, and have faith in what is to come.

I need not worry for the coming days of my life; because I am living for today...and only for today; for this very fine moment...I am living...loving...believing.

I am thankful for this day.

More to Love

It didn't take very long
Maybe just one moment...
All is healed and well again...and life is so much brighter.
At least, it is on my end.
Seems like it's been forever
Since I've felt this sense of certainty.
Seems like it's been a lifetime
And I'm barely only learning.
It's all coming back together again
as I'm learning how to be a friend
And what it means to have one...

That mutuality
That double bond
That strength that holds it together
That mighty force...called God.

I have slowly come to realize
I trust you with my life...

and I think that this time
Our friendship will survive

There's so much more to being friends than seeing each other, speaking with one another, being with together every day. There's much more meaning than all of the temporal things. When two souls are brought together into friendship, they just know, and they accept. Nothing more has to be done, but faith and trust must be kept.

For all the things that I have done, I feel so unworthy -- but it is all such a blessing; to be pardoned and given one more chance to be that friend.

We learn and grow as we age. Sometimes our lives will seem like a hurricane of change and development...sometimes it will seem as if we are different as each day comes. The events in our lives drastically change who we are, and make us to be the person we are today.

Change. It's all around us. Change of the world, and change from within. But the one thing that never changes is Truth. The Truth is never altered...and there can only be one.
Our truth is what keeps us holding on and going forward as each tide of change rolls in. It keeps us comforted and secure, so that we don't have to fear for the future.

I believe that God sends us angels to help us carry on...to change the things about ourselves that we don't want to be...to hold us when we are crying, to carry us when we are weak, and to love us when we are feeling lonely. God gives us our friends, to fill the holes that we may find empty, and to fix our repairable flaws. He gives us friends...and our friends are angels...without wings...with a lot of meaning...who can preach us Peace.

I believe in miracles... because in my life, there have been so many.

None can compare to the joy I've found and keep within my heart. There is much more joy, more meaning, more to love than I've ever had before.

Stop.

Texting, emailing, face-booking, etc. What ever happened to relationships?

Advanced Technology was invented by people who couldn't handle the uncomfortable moments of truth...or by people who didn't want to bother with reality. Thanks for making the world impersonal and emotionless...If that was the plan, then, these people have succeeded...

Life is a gift!
Something many of us take for granted. The things of this world hold people back from doing the great impossible. Everything today is so extremely easy...at the press of a button, you can get all of the information you could ever ask for. Yet...so many of our children are failing in schools, turning to drugs for escape, and seeking any way out of our impersonal and dead society.

We rely on our telecommunication devices: our I phones, I touches, I this, and I that. Is it really all about ....I???

FACEBOOK. A place for...friends?

What defines friendship today?
Is it the people who follow your daily tweets?
Or those who are your friend...and 5,000 other people's friend too?

Those luxuries are what distract people from really living...and the message is loud and clear. Those distractions in life are wasting lives by the moment. Those distractions give humanity a sick and twisted face.

God can take any one of us from this world whenever he so desires; So why would anyone want to waste their lives away? I KNOW I don't. Each day is a blessing. And it is a blessing to never have to worry about what is coming next.

Sweet Couple

There is this couple that I have seen everywhere this semester. They are what I call an adorable match, even though they are completely different from each other (in appearance). The woman is Asian, and very petite. The man is Caucasian and very tall. I would normally think nothing of it, if I had only seen them once or twice...but almost once a week, I see them in the most random locations on the college campus. They are older; maybe mid thirties. They are always reminding me that appearance doesn't matter--but only love...

Faith, Love, Trust, and Acceptance hold relationships together. No matter if they are friendships or romances or family ties...

I don't know this couple personally...but I am glad I see them from time to time; because it reminds me of some of the sweeter things in life.

Thank you sweet couple.

Dear Friends,

Today, I urge you to smile
To give thanks for the many blessings in this life
To thank one another for every helping hand
To be encouraged when life brings high demands

Life is so, so precious
As well as those who are in it
Color life with nothing but love
And stop to think for just one minute

Every day we make a choice
A choice to complain or a choice to rejoice
I urge you friends, to smile today
And to spread your color in every way

Good Teachers

There are always those teachers who...don't change you...but who help you change yourself. I love those teachers. They mean so much to me.

Thank you Teachers, for helping others and myself be better human beings.

Best Always,

Ashley

The Hard Way

I've come to realize...that...for my whole life, I've always had to learn things the hard way--always had to put in that extra effort to get the desired outcome.

Everyone can live their dream. The only difference between people is that some just have to work a little harder. We are all human beings, and all very different from one another; but the one thing we all have in common is that desire to succeed.

Life is a continuous learning process; and if one ever stops learning, they must have died. Each day brings new things: questions, answers, trials, experiences...and it is how we respond to those things that make or break us...and our dreams.

Don't let your dreams die out. You CAN live it. So, I ask you to hold on...and just take a leap of faith, enjoy the ride, and NEVER.GIVE.UP!