Be the Light - My Experience, My Review

I just returned from a week long yoga retreat in Costa Rica, lead by Christine Lee and Stephani Lindsey, at Hacienda del Sol retreat center in San Juanillo, Guanacaste, Costa Rica. No words can describe how wonderful and perfect it was. The journey there was long, and took about 12 hours in total to get to Liberia from Tucson. I traveled alone, all the way until I reached Liberia, where I met up with another retreater, Gail, and we met our taxi driver for a 2 hour drive to the center. On the first flight from Tucson to Houston, I had the pleasure of watching the sun rise. It was remarkable.
I decided to take this trip in July, and had no idea that the timing would be so perfect. I have been struggling with drama and stress at work, and it had started to take its toll on me. Fortunately I have been able to confide in friends and coworkers  during the time leading up to the trip; it kept me sane for the most part.

Once we arrived to HDS, we were greeted by the lovely manager, Meg, who showed us to our open-air cabinas (cabins) and then took us up for dinner. We met everyone in the dining area, and began to eat. The food was mostly raw, with a little cooked stuffs here and there, as well as occasional fish throughout the week. The food was so amazing, and regulating. I think most of us revamped our entire systems by the end of the week ;)

The cabinas, once again, were open-air, meaning air could freely flow through the window screens. We were provided with mosquito nets over our beds, which may I add, made me feel sort of like a princess. The sounds at night lulled me to sleep, whereas nature also became my alarm clock in the mornings. The birds would chirp and sing, and Stef described one of the bird songs as sounding like the Thrift Shop song by Macklemore. LOL! There were also noises of howler monkeys, crickets, frogs, armadillos (walking around), as well as fireflies lighting up the night. There were fireflies in our cabin one night, and it was pretty awesome. My roommate was Anne, and she's also from Tucson. She's such a lovely person, and I am so grateful that I was able to room with her for many reasons.

The daily schedule was as follows:
7:30 am 30 minute mantra, pranayama, and meditation w/ Stef and Christine
8:30 am Breakfast
9:30 am 2 hour asana practice w/ Stef and Christine
12:00 n  Lunch
(FREE TIME)
4:00 pm 1 hour yin or restorative asana/ pranayama w/ Stef
5:00 pm 1 hour personal development w/Christine
6:00 pm Dinner
(FREE TIME)
*On the second day, we had a full moon ceremony after dinner
*On the last day, we had a Closing/Gratitude circle before dinner

The days were structured very nicely, and Christine and Stephani were both very flexible (hehe) and accomodating to everyone's needs. If people wanted to skip things, they could, no problem. Some of the group went on excursions, although I decided not to, since I've done most of the excursions that they offered the last time I was in CR. I just wanted to retreat. On the second day, Anne and I went to the black sand beach, which was about a 20 minute walk (kind of hike-ish). It was so relaxing and rejuvenating to spend time in the ocean, playing in the sand, doing handstands and back bends, taking pictures, and jumping in the waves. I felt like a child again...so free.

On asana:
As the days progressed, the morning practices became more and more intense. The sequencing was different everyday, although we would build on certain things each day from the previous days. We did everything under the sun. We even had the opportunity to work with partners when doing handstands and forearm stands, as well as urdva dhanurasana (wheel) and assisted downward facing dogs. Stef and Christine would take turns teaching the morning class, and during the evening class, Stef would teach alone. The evenings were nice and refreshing; headstand, shoulderstand, forward folds, twists, and hip openers. Christine and Stephani both did a fabulous job teaching and co-teaching. When one of them taught, the other would walk around and gently adjust those of us who needed adjusting. Both were very nurturing and careful in their adjustments and direction. It was incredible to watch everyone progress and become stronger throughout the week. It was magical.

On meditation:
Every morning we would chant the Ganesh mantra, Gayatri mantra, and Sarve Bhavantu Sukhina mantra.
Following mantra, we did what was called a Quadrinity Check, where we would scan our body and make a mental note of how we are physically feeling, then we would scan through our thoughts and make a note of what we had been thinking about since we woke up, then we would scan our heart for the emotions we felt, and lastly, we would focus on the place behind our heart, also known as "the cave of the heart", where our True Self resides, underneath all the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of ourselves, and we would ask ourselves, "true self, is there anything you want me to know today", and we would wait. Sometimes, there was nothing...other times, there were images, words, or sensations which were only of good nature. After the QC, we practiced pranayama. We did something different every day, like Nadhi Shodana, Ujayi, Square Breathing, and Breath of Fire. After pranayama, we sat in a 10-15 minute silent meditation. There were of course sounds around us, one woman who almost always around the same time every morning would be on the phone talking about dealing drugs, or workers blending smoothies for breakfast, cracking open coconuts, kitchen staff conversing with one another...at times, these distractions made it difficult, but we were told to let those distractions remind us to come back to our breath. I noticed progress over the week. No matter what, I always came out of that meditation room feeling more grounded and centered than I had when I walked in.

On community
Most of us had no idea who each other was. The only people I knew were Stef and Christine, but everyone else was a stranger.

Gail:
I first connected with Gail when we were picked up by our taxi at the Liberian airport. I noticed a woman sitting outside, and I somehow knew it was her. I asked her if she was Gail, and she bursted up and we hugged each other...complete strangers! It was like a soul reunion. We had quite the adventure getting to HDS, as the bridge was closed on one side, and only one lane of traffic could go at a time. It took us about 30 min longer to get to HDS than expected, and we were both getting our patience tested. I think we were both grateful to be in each other's company, and we made great conversation on the ride. She is a retired grade school principal who found out about the retreat randomly online, not knowing either teacher or anyone going. She's a brave one! She just started getting really in to yoga, and loves it. I'm glad! She's amazing.
Anne:
We were roomies! I can't describe what a wonderful creature she is. She lights up the whole room when she walks into it. She's from Tucson also, and works for Aveda skin and hair care. She's also one of Stephani's students. I never met her until the retreat, so I'm really glad she came! She's asked me if I would want to teach yoga to the students at Aveda Institute and receive free services in return, and I would be silly not to take up that offer! She was such a comfort to have around, and I would steel inscence from the colema (coffee enema) stalls and burn them in our room some mornings and nights. We could just sit in silence and be completely comfortable. It was nice to have her energy around. We had so much fun at the beach, as I talked about earlier. I'm just really glad to have met her.
Bonnie:
She's so wise, confident, and beautiful. She had some of the best wisdom to share with the group, and she also has this knack for tasting every single ingredient in a dish. It was awesome! If we wanted to know what was in something, we just asked her, and she'd most often have it right! She was adorable and such a treat to be around.
Trish:
She is such a grounding and stable woman. It was hard not to get sucked into her peaceful energy when she was around. I didn't get to talk to her much, but when we did talk, I found her to also be very wise, confident, and beautiful.
June:
She had a child like way of figuring out asana. She always has some really great questions during practice, and always had a desire to learn more. It was refreshing to have that as well. She has this way of making people think. She was also great with spanish!
Melissa:
Such a soul sister. We have been going through similar stuff, therefore we were able to connect at a heart level and speak to each other of our hardships. She is so fun and loving, and good natured. She also wore the most awesome colors every day! I loved having her sense of humor around.
Danielle:
She was the most mothery of mother figures to have around. She has a baby back home, and would skype with him every night! It was the most adorable thing to see. Like me, she's a sensitive being, sensitive to others' emotions and to strong personalities, so we were able to connect on a lot of things. She was also very grounding and nurturing to be around. That child of hers is so fortunate!
Wes:
The only male on the retreat! He was so funny! He was also very respectful and kind to everyone. He was there to learn, and was open to anything. I also noticed how he would take care of himself and take a break if he was feeling tired. He was a fun person to be around.

Christine: Dear Christine, I met about a year ago. I met her in Stephani's class one night, and was like "who is this badass next to me?" She's got such a loving and kind energy and is probably one of the funnest people I know. It was puring rain on the second to last night of the retreat, and she goes to her room, puts on her bathing suit, and runs by the dining area screaming "COME SWIM WITH ME!!!" and was jumping around like a crazy person. It was hilarious...so we all get into the pool eventually, and we start playing games and acting like absolute lunatics. Christine got us doing synchronized swimming, which will be on youtube soon, I'm sure, and then she had us play some farm animal game where we had to scream the sound of a rooster, pig, or cow to find other roosters, pigs and cows, while our eyes were shut. The management came out of their rooms to see what the hell was happening, and they were so in awe at how much fun we were having without being under the influence of any type of substance...I'll never forget that night, and I'm so grateful for Christine's fun loving and carefree nature. I am also grateful for the personal development work she brought us this week, which I will elaborate more on later. She's very wise, generous, and friggin happy. I love it. ANNND I think this is just the beginning :)

Stephani:
My teacher, my sister, my friend. Wow...I've spent almost 2 years with her. No words can describe her influence in my life, other than that she's definitely a special force within it; a guiding light, and a reminder and reflection of the light within myself. Not to mention, she's absolutely hilarious, all the time, and her smile brightens up everything within a very large radius. She has much wisdom, love, and compassion to offer the world, sees life like poetry, and lives from her heart. She's someone I look up to immensely. She gives so much of her self, all the time, and sees that it is her duty to serve others, and serving others makes her happy, gives her strength, and keeps her fire burning. She's been a perfect roll model, confidante, mentor, teacher, and friend to me; through the highs and the lows. She's a force to be reckon with, that's for sure. I look forward to many more years with her...as she grows, I also grow, and I am deeply grateful for her presence in my life.
Also, there was this experience with a beautiful blue butterfly, and all I can say is that it was one of the sweetest, most magical things I've ever seen. She basically saved this butterfly and set her free back into the jungle. It was amazing...and wonderful how much the butterfly was able to let go and just trust that she was safe...it was for sure an awe moment...and a reminder of how love will set you free.










On personal development:

This work was almost like an emotional survival game. We received tools to help us work through emotions, and protective layers that we have which are there to keep us from sitting with and feeling what we are actually feeling...and both of those laters, the protective and emotional layer, are what keep us from experiencing our true Self.
We were asked to journal on a certain topic nightly; some topics included:
- What do I want in my life?
- "I am" statement (ie: I am a compassionate, loyal, genuine, energetic, peaceful, poetic, open hearted, luminous being, who is grounding and reassuring to others, and who's purpose in life is to guide others to the discovery of their own light) <<- What were all of you craziest and wildest dreams as a child?
- What are my fears?
- IN what ways to I play small in my life?
- What does it mean to me to let my light shine?

We discussed how to break and transform patterns, and were given tools and ideas on how we can attempt to work on ourselves before seeking professional help. We talked about how old patterns are the Samskaras, ones which are like deep, learned grooves in our brains; things that are automatic...it's the same as retraining someone's automatic response who has PTSD...it works the same way.

I went through a short period of time on this trip where I just felt completely overwhelmed with emotions, things that were triggered by the PD classes, and I felt my entire being become flooded with anxiety, anger, pain, loneliness, and others. I eventually processed it all, and eventually, with help, I returned back to balance, and everything was better after it all happened. I think I just needed to feel it. It needed to happen. I had been keeping things bottled up inside of me, and not allowing myself to feel them until that moment. It was a pivotal point for me...and I'm grateful for it. The work is always there, and now that I have tools to work with, I see myself making a lot of progress in the future.


Now I sit here on my couch at home, writing about my experience, but also knowing that this does not do it justice...it's one of those things that, "you'd just have to be there" to understand how amazing and transformational it was. It seems that there will be more retreats to look forward to in the future. As I look ahead, I see myself attending many retreats, as well as one day hosting some. I am absolutely stoked about life, and what I have to offer the world. My mission in life is to be of service...to spread my light and share it with ever single being I come into contact with. All things are possible... anything I put my entire self to, mind, body, and spirit, will come to pass, and from this day forward, I set the intention be the light, wherever I go...no matter what may come.

Namaste: The divine light in me sees, recognizes, honors, and loves the divine light in you.

Om Sarve Bhavantu Sukhinah
Sarve Santu Nir-Aamayaah 
Sarve Bhadraanni Pashyantu
Maa Kashcid-Duhkha-Bhaag-Bhavet 
Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih 

 Om, May All become Happy,
 May All be Free from Illness.
 May All See what is Auspicious,
 May no one Suffer.
 Om Peace, Peace, Peace.