I sit here typing this in my bed, alone...as always it's just me, myself, and I. I ponder on the subject of love and relationships...like the romantic type, and I wonder...where have I gone wrong?
I'm not afraid to be real...to show the world my vulnerable side. I feel that if I didn't allow this part of me to become available to the world, eventually I'd fake myself out...and everyone else, and become someone that I'm not entirely. And with this side of me available to the world, I can maybe bring comfort to those with the same feelings or going throughs as myself...creating a common bond and a common understanding...
__
It seems as though everyone I know is in a good relationship, is married, and/or already has children...all my age, and even the ones younger than myself. What is it that I have done over the years that has caused me to be alone? I go through the motions, and I wonder...why am I alone? What's wrong with me? Why does no one want to be with me? I have searched within myself and have found things that needed to be fixed, and I have worked and worked and worked...but the only thing that has come of all of that work is a whole lot of self love...but that's still something to be grateful for...for sure...and it means more than anything else really...but there's still the part of me that desires a mate...someone to help me along life's journey. Someone who isn't going to leave me hanging...who will love me for me, and who will just "be there"...
I keep hearing the whole "you shouldn't date people from work" and "you shouldn't date people from yoga" and "you shouldn't date people" here and there...but what gives? Well HOW do you expect to find someone outside of all of your activities when you don't ever go anywhere else? How about if you're sober and don't hang out in clubs, bars, etc. Tell me then, where does one look in cases like these? I suppose one could resort to online dating, but I've been down that road, and that relationship didn't go so great...so what gives?
I am tired...tired of waiting. I'm almost ready to give up and stop believing in that kind of love...at least for me...
Maybe my "one" doesn't even exist...
I know I'm "still young"...as I hear a lot...but honestly, no one knows how long they are going to live...and everyone in this life deserves to experience love...no matter who they are or what they have done.
I sit here, becoming teary eyed now...not because I feel sorry for myself, but because within myself, there is love which flows over and spills into every inch of my being...so much that I have contained within myself that I need someone to give some of that love to...I feel that. It's a mixture between pain and bliss. It's the only emotion that can make me feel this way...angry, sad, lonely, hurt, happy, joyful, peaceful, and so many more...
I have so much...maybe too much love to give...and I am struggling, with no one on the receiving end.
That is all I have...
I'm not afraid to be real...to show the world my vulnerable side. I feel that if I didn't allow this part of me to become available to the world, eventually I'd fake myself out...and everyone else, and become someone that I'm not entirely. And with this side of me available to the world, I can maybe bring comfort to those with the same feelings or going throughs as myself...creating a common bond and a common understanding...
__
It seems as though everyone I know is in a good relationship, is married, and/or already has children...all my age, and even the ones younger than myself. What is it that I have done over the years that has caused me to be alone? I go through the motions, and I wonder...why am I alone? What's wrong with me? Why does no one want to be with me? I have searched within myself and have found things that needed to be fixed, and I have worked and worked and worked...but the only thing that has come of all of that work is a whole lot of self love...but that's still something to be grateful for...for sure...and it means more than anything else really...but there's still the part of me that desires a mate...someone to help me along life's journey. Someone who isn't going to leave me hanging...who will love me for me, and who will just "be there"...
I keep hearing the whole "you shouldn't date people from work" and "you shouldn't date people from yoga" and "you shouldn't date people" here and there...but what gives? Well HOW do you expect to find someone outside of all of your activities when you don't ever go anywhere else? How about if you're sober and don't hang out in clubs, bars, etc. Tell me then, where does one look in cases like these? I suppose one could resort to online dating, but I've been down that road, and that relationship didn't go so great...so what gives?
I am tired...tired of waiting. I'm almost ready to give up and stop believing in that kind of love...at least for me...
Maybe my "one" doesn't even exist...
I know I'm "still young"...as I hear a lot...but honestly, no one knows how long they are going to live...and everyone in this life deserves to experience love...no matter who they are or what they have done.
I sit here, becoming teary eyed now...not because I feel sorry for myself, but because within myself, there is love which flows over and spills into every inch of my being...so much that I have contained within myself that I need someone to give some of that love to...I feel that. It's a mixture between pain and bliss. It's the only emotion that can make me feel this way...angry, sad, lonely, hurt, happy, joyful, peaceful, and so many more...
I have so much...maybe too much love to give...and I am struggling, with no one on the receiving end.
That is all I have...
