Shooting at my Apartment Complex

So yesterday, there was a shooting at my apartment complex...not only that, but my car took a bullet, as well as was covered in blood. 
I was planning to leave my place around 3pm, because I was thinking about reading for a while at a coffee shop before a yoga class. At about 2:30, I decided I'd just stay home and watch a movie on netflix, and then head to class after. At around 3pm, I heard two shots outside, but I thought they were just from people playing with fireworks, because people do that a lot around here. I got all my things together and left the apartment around 4:15, to find my car:

I called the apartment complex, thinking it was painball at first, but then I saw the bullets on the ground, and smelled the blood...puddles around my car. While on the phone, I heard the police sirens getting closer, so I guess someone else had already called the cops. They arrived, and then when I realized it was serious and was really blood, I about flipped out. I thought I might throw up. Supposedly two people got into a fight, and I guess people don't fight with bare hands anymore, and use guns, unfortnately. Today I found out that someone was taken into custody and a victim has been hospitalized. I am unsure whether it was a car jacking or just a violent fight between two people who knew each other. All I know is that for the first time in my life, I feel unsafe in this area. 

My realization was that, if I had left when I had originally planned, I could have easily been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and could have been shot myself, but thank God I stayed home a little longer. My friend parker joked, "OR, you could have gotten your car out of there before the damage was done"...true...

Anyway, they blocked off the entire parking lot, and there were many cops, fire dept. came, and investigators came. They finally let me go inside, because it was freezing cold out there. This morning, I found the huge hole which the bullet went through and fell out of my car when I opened the passenger door. I put the bullet in a baggie and took it to the front office where I also filed my own report. We will see what happens next.

This whole thing really puts a lot of things in perspective for me. It's interesting how we hear about all of these shootings around the world, but we sometimes think, "That would never happen to me/someone I love" but honestly, anything can happen to anyone, anywhere, at any time. This teaches me to be more discerning of people, more on guard, and more aware of my surroundings. I do feel that guns should be more heavily regulated, because of the harm that they are causing in our world.

Today, I am feeling very blessed to be alive, well, and that my loved ones are alive and well. We just never know when our time will run out.

Happy New Year 

Love 

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If you haven't cried by the end of 2012...

If you haven't cried by then end of 2012, you must have been MIA...I'm not talking baby tears. I'm talking full on sob-mania. There is just something about this year in particular, that has been extremely heavy on the heart; not only for myself, but for at least 95% of the people I know. Whether we have faced death, breakups, unrequited love, physical illness, depression, or anxiety, we have all experienced something, or maybe some things that have made this year an extra difficult one. Collectively, we have all suffered or are currently suffering the pain of separateness...loneliness...no matter how many friends we make, or how much socializing we do, by the end of the day, we come home, take off our "I'm perfectly fine" mask, and everything settles back into reality. The dishes sit dirty in the sink, the laundry pile is mountain high on the bed, the bills sit passively on the table, the dog still needs to be walked and fed, dinner still needs to be made...but wait, I have no food, and the store is closing soon.... and so on...the list never ends, it seems, and the cycle repeats itself day after day...this is the life of the average adult...or pretty close to it. This is where I am grateful for my daily practice...yoga, meditation, breathing, writing, reading...these activities seem to make my life a lot more mindful, as well as meaningful, and I find that when I perform these activities regularly, I'm a much happier and well centered human being. But what happens when we are knocked off course? What happens when we receive bad news, or are criticized, or are faced with a serious problem of some kind? What is it that we do? Some people say "just be calm, and it will get better" I used to say that...I used to live by that principle...but there are others who say, "Let yourself have your mood, damnit!" and I am starting to live by this. Emotions are felt, because they need to be felt. Emotions are there, not to be ignored or numbed, but to be processed and understood. They are God given blessings, no matter how much they hurt, or for how long they hurt. If they are just placed on the back burner to be forgotten about and untended to, then the pile will quickly add up, and it won't take much in order to reach a breaking point. I say, feel the little agitations, the little bouts of sadness, the little bouts of anger and heartache. Allow tears to flow when they start to swell your eyelids...don't force them back...it isn't healthy. The breaking point is an unhealthy place to come to...bad thoughts accompany this level of unkempt emotional baggage. Allow all emotions to process before coming to this point. Allow yourself to understand and accept why it is that you are feeling so.

Today was Christmas. It's a holiday of great joy and gathering. It was the darkest day of the year, and what is supposed to be the most joyous and celebrated day, landed on the darkest and most emotional day for many. There was Christmas yoga today at Yoga Oasis studio, which I am extremely grateful for. I have been on the edge of tears for the past few days, because of some news that I recieved, as well as other emotions that were due for processing. It was a 1hr 15min class, and I cried the whole time. Even in Savasana. The best part is, I didn't try to stop it. I just let it flow, just like I was letting my body flow. The heart openers really got me rolling, thank God for that...in all honesty, and the tear flow and heart sobbing continued a good few hours after. After class, I found support and love from some of my dearest peers. We talked about how if only everyone were more real, the world would be such a better place. We ask each other all the time, "How are you?" and the response, "I'm good, and you?" and the response, "I'm good, thanks." And about 90% of the time, it's complete b.s. We need to stop with the b.s. and get real in order to heal humanity. We're all in the same boat. We all go through pain and heartache. We all experience love and death. We all know! We all understand! We just need to let go and let love in. Why is it that we are so afraid to trust each other? If we all had faith and trusted in one another, imagine what would become of this world. I'm not saying go forth and tell everyone all of your problems. What I am saying is that when you are hurting, when you are in pain, don't just let yourself be there alone. Chances are, there's someone in your life willing to listen and be there. And if someone comes to you, hurting...remember that you would want the same support if you are in pain. Life is reciprocal. We get back what we give. It's the law of nature. That's just the way it is. So I leave this here...as I just needed to process my own thoughts and insights after a very emotional and dark day. Thankfully, I had friends who reminded me of the light within. Namaste.

 

Love has nothing to do with Sex

To have a friend

One must first be a friend

To be a friend

One must first befriend their self

 

To have love

One must first give love

To give love

One must first learn to love their self

 

What does it mean to be in love? My answer is simple, yet may be complex, depending on whoever is reading. To be in love, first of all, has absolutely nothing to do with sex, physical desires, or feeling obligation towards another. To be in love has everything to do with spirit...faith...grace... People fear these three terms, because they are automatically translated into religion. I am not talking religion...I am talking simply about a person's own personal spirituality; a person's own spiritual connection with God, the Universe, the Great Spirit, and however else we humans have found a way to describe where we come from. The good news is, we all come from the same place; all connected, all one (even though we're each our own individual person). To gain that connection is a huge blessing. To gain that connection means spiritual growth and awareness. It does not, however, mean life will become easier. It does mean that life will become more bearable…doable… and that we, spiritual beings in human bodies, are beginning to look inward. When the world outside of us is in chaos, we go inward, and immediately see that maybe the reason it's all chaos on the outside is because it's all chaos on the inside. This is where we have the choice to act...to change...to grow...

A recently blossoming friendship of mine has been an incredibly transformative experience for me, as I walk my own spiritual path. It has shifted something within me, and has uncovered a whole new area of spiritual, emotional, personal, and interpersonal insights for me, and I am grateful. It is teaching me a lot about what it means to love, and to be comfortable with myself, which in turn is teaching me to be open to love from others. What I am experiencing outside of myself is the same as what I am experiencing on the inside world. It’s a mirror, where I learn to love the reflection – flaws and all. The result is that of creating healthy relationships with healthy boundaries, with no expectations…not only with others, but also with ourselves.  

Finding friendship that is genuine is not always the simplest in today's society, where we are all very much drawn into our egotistical selves, instead of our spiritual selves...many friendships today are based upon the "I will give you ___ if you can give me ___" which is more about pleasing the ego than the spirit. Many are codependent-like, which I am sure we have all experienced. The spiritual friendships that we may come by are more like "I want to give you ___, because I want you to be happy, and I wish for nothing in return". The spiritual friendship requires little effort, because the link between the souls is so strong, that pretty much nothing can break it. The spiritual friend is there in times of chaos, madness, sadness...but is also there during times of great joy, and times of great peace. The spiritual friend never leaves your side yet will give you the space you need at any given time, because they understand you in a way that is indescribably beautiful, non-judgmental, loving, nurturing, and caring. The spiritual friendship lies on a strong and solid foundation, large enough for eternal growth together, while also leaving room for each individual to grow on their own. It is a highly supportive relationship to have...it is the essence of love itself, and is something that I wish could be between all human beings...after all, we are all connected...but, I am grateful for those abundant connections which I have in my own life, that lead me to believe that true, real love, does exist...that I do not need to go searching for 'the one' for the rest of my life, because I am happy and in love with my own spirit, which in turn opens me up to receiving that same special love from others around me who are so willing as I am, to give...who are so willing to love and be loved.

Love, is forgiving. Love is limitless...Love begins within the self, and then it expands into every relationship that you have...and what better time to choose love, than right now?

 

"When we align with Nature, magic happens" - John Friend