They say, "if you love something, let it go; if it comes back, it was meant to be, all along".
I've let go of many things I've loved as I've lived...Some things never came back to me, but others did. I guess...not only things, but people too. I've had falling outs, disconnects, and just simply loss of contact with certain people, only to find that in some mysterious way, they fall right back into my life, as if they had never even left it.
The people that come back like this, I call my guardians...my angels...my soul friends...practically like family. There's something special about these relationships that I have with them...they aren't normal; but they are beautiful still. Some are like mothers and fathers, guiding me in the right direction, and nurturing my spirit. Some are like sisters and brothers, with whom at times, I get into arguments or have disagreements and misunderstandings with, and even still, we love each other and love being around each other. These people are like my support system...my network of like-hearted and like-minded individuals, whom I can trust and find great joy in my relationships with them...these are the people who understand me the most...who see me at both my best and my worst. It's all so fascinating to me...
One of my best friends and I had a falling out a while back, and didn't talk for about a year...and one day, I received a letter from this friend...my mind initially went to "why would this person want anything to do with me?" I remember not responding for a while, and that was when I received another letter...by then my heart sank. I responded at last, and ever since, for the past 9 months, we've kept in contact in this way. I get to see this friend for the first time in almost 2 years this week. I'm a mixture of excited, scared, nervous, and grateful...but mainly grateful. I honestly thought that I'd lost my friend forever...but God didn't let that happen...I'm not sure why...not at the moment, but all I know is that I'm very grateful that I did not lose my friend. I am also grateful for the time I had separate from my friend, because that is the time when I learned the most about who I really was...I gained experience and insight in myself, and realized that I'm so much more than I really thought I was. I just thought I was some person, here on Earth to do labor, eat, and then die...but now I see that I am so much more than that. I am joy, happiness, love, peace, beauty. I am everything...and one with all that is...just simply a piece of the greater puzzle in this mysterious, vast universe we live in. It amazes me to think about life...sometimes I have to stop myself from thinking so much, because I realize that there's a lot that I'm just never going to know...I used to not be okay with that, but now I am.
One of my dear friends has recently been helping me a lot lately...guiding me, yet also being a support and a listening ear. I'm grateful for that. There are things that have come up for me lately that I never really would have thought so deeply about before, but now, with my life experience, it seems important to contemplate before acting. Why do we act impulsively, without meditating on something first? I think that maybe it's the ego that acts as such an impulsive body, and we as humans get so wrapped up in egotistical thinking that we forget about the deeper, more important pieces of the puzzle.
There is someone recently in my life who has just sort of randomly popped up, who I've gained a huge interest in. He is always so kind to me, always asks me questions about myself, and always seems to want to talk to me when I am around. I am almost dumbfounded at this, because I'm so used to being the one who's asking all the questions. But for some reason, I find myself a little shy and also scared, because I've been rejected many times in the past. I do find him charming, attractive, sweet, and intelligent...but I also find him mysterious...maybe that's what really draws me in...
It would be easy for anyone to say, "just ask him to tea or coffee" but there is a boundary there that I am not so sure I should be crossing...I've learned in life, that one should steer clear of getting into intimate relationships with their teachers...in fact, this is what my friend had advised me...but I never intended on this man to be my teacher; I only by coincidence of time end up taking his classes more often...not by choice really... so it's a complicated situation in my head. It's not like he is a school teacher; he teaches yoga. I guess that's where the line is blurred for me...
I guess this is just one thing that I'll have to sit and watch unfold. I feel uncomfortable actually saying or doing anything about it, because I don't know what the response will be, and I also feel like some things are "better left unsaid" ...for now anyway....
There's not much left for me to write about...this post was a bit more personal than my others, but I really just needed to get some things out in the open...and see what the universe might send back to me...
Thanks for reading...Namaste.
I've let go of many things I've loved as I've lived...Some things never came back to me, but others did. I guess...not only things, but people too. I've had falling outs, disconnects, and just simply loss of contact with certain people, only to find that in some mysterious way, they fall right back into my life, as if they had never even left it.
The people that come back like this, I call my guardians...my angels...my soul friends...practically like family. There's something special about these relationships that I have with them...they aren't normal; but they are beautiful still. Some are like mothers and fathers, guiding me in the right direction, and nurturing my spirit. Some are like sisters and brothers, with whom at times, I get into arguments or have disagreements and misunderstandings with, and even still, we love each other and love being around each other. These people are like my support system...my network of like-hearted and like-minded individuals, whom I can trust and find great joy in my relationships with them...these are the people who understand me the most...who see me at both my best and my worst. It's all so fascinating to me...
One of my best friends and I had a falling out a while back, and didn't talk for about a year...and one day, I received a letter from this friend...my mind initially went to "why would this person want anything to do with me?" I remember not responding for a while, and that was when I received another letter...by then my heart sank. I responded at last, and ever since, for the past 9 months, we've kept in contact in this way. I get to see this friend for the first time in almost 2 years this week. I'm a mixture of excited, scared, nervous, and grateful...but mainly grateful. I honestly thought that I'd lost my friend forever...but God didn't let that happen...I'm not sure why...not at the moment, but all I know is that I'm very grateful that I did not lose my friend. I am also grateful for the time I had separate from my friend, because that is the time when I learned the most about who I really was...I gained experience and insight in myself, and realized that I'm so much more than I really thought I was. I just thought I was some person, here on Earth to do labor, eat, and then die...but now I see that I am so much more than that. I am joy, happiness, love, peace, beauty. I am everything...and one with all that is...just simply a piece of the greater puzzle in this mysterious, vast universe we live in. It amazes me to think about life...sometimes I have to stop myself from thinking so much, because I realize that there's a lot that I'm just never going to know...I used to not be okay with that, but now I am.
One of my dear friends has recently been helping me a lot lately...guiding me, yet also being a support and a listening ear. I'm grateful for that. There are things that have come up for me lately that I never really would have thought so deeply about before, but now, with my life experience, it seems important to contemplate before acting. Why do we act impulsively, without meditating on something first? I think that maybe it's the ego that acts as such an impulsive body, and we as humans get so wrapped up in egotistical thinking that we forget about the deeper, more important pieces of the puzzle.
There is someone recently in my life who has just sort of randomly popped up, who I've gained a huge interest in. He is always so kind to me, always asks me questions about myself, and always seems to want to talk to me when I am around. I am almost dumbfounded at this, because I'm so used to being the one who's asking all the questions. But for some reason, I find myself a little shy and also scared, because I've been rejected many times in the past. I do find him charming, attractive, sweet, and intelligent...but I also find him mysterious...maybe that's what really draws me in...
It would be easy for anyone to say, "just ask him to tea or coffee" but there is a boundary there that I am not so sure I should be crossing...I've learned in life, that one should steer clear of getting into intimate relationships with their teachers...in fact, this is what my friend had advised me...but I never intended on this man to be my teacher; I only by coincidence of time end up taking his classes more often...not by choice really... so it's a complicated situation in my head. It's not like he is a school teacher; he teaches yoga. I guess that's where the line is blurred for me...
I guess this is just one thing that I'll have to sit and watch unfold. I feel uncomfortable actually saying or doing anything about it, because I don't know what the response will be, and I also feel like some things are "better left unsaid" ...for now anyway....
There's not much left for me to write about...this post was a bit more personal than my others, but I really just needed to get some things out in the open...and see what the universe might send back to me...
Thanks for reading...Namaste.
