Thursday, May 23, 2013

Grandmother Willow

Grandmother Willow: Now then, there's something I want to show you. Look. [dips her vine in the water in which glowing ripples begin to formPocahontas: The ripples. John Smith: What about them? Grandmother Willow: So small at first, then look how they grow. But someone has to start them. John Smith: They're not gonna listen to us. Grandmother Willow: Young man, sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. Don't you see? Only when the fighting stops, can you be together. 
~ Scene from Disney's Pocahontas

I recently had some time to myself,  and found Pocahontas on Netflix. I watched it all the way through.... It's probably been about 10 years  since I had last seen the movie, so my viewpoint on the story was so much different this time, in comparison to how I thought about it when I was a child. I was stunned at how many references were made to the belief of oneness, and how God is everywhere. By saying God, it can be whatever you believe God to be; whether that's the Universe, the breath in your body, Christ, Shiva/Shakti, etc...or it can be all of it, and all of everything, like I believe.
I went with my boyfriend to visit his grandmother yesterday before I ventured off to yoga (which I will talk about in a moment). The woman was adorable; old, and not all there, but very wise; I could tell. She's lived a good 80 plus years, so she's seen the world change tremendously. She's been through more than anyone my age could ever imagine. She's got wisdom written all over her. She said a few things that reminded me of the impermanence of our physicalities, and the permanence of spirit. What a treat to hear stories from her younger years, and even one about my boyfriend (Mathieu) when he was a small child. Mathieu was playing with some boys in the neighborhood, and they were giving him a hard time saying,
"God isn't real. I can't see him, so he doesn't exist".  Mathieu runs to his grandmother and tells her what they said, and she looked up and prayed for something she could say, and then it came to her to say to Mathieu,
"Mathieu, look, you see the wind, how it moves the trees? You can't see it, but you can see how it moves things. You can feel it caress your skin and blow through your hair. That's how God is. You can't see God, but God is real". Mathieu runs back to the boys and screams,
"GOD IS THE WIND!"
It was such a precious story, touching to my heart. True to my core. I thought about the story of Pocahontas and the conversation between Grandmother Willow and John Smith about the ripple effect. That too is like the wind. There is a creative force behind everything, whether it is something we see as positive or negative. The primary force will always lead to amplification of that force, unless something from the outside intercepts and stops it, or creates a new ripple.
I think of how in our world we suffer from tremendous amounts of anxiety, depression, and codependency, and how we create drama based off of melodramas that we have created in our own heads, which also lead to obsessions, anxieties, fears, and so on...
I feel like nature is where our heart is; where we can reestablish that sense of connectedness, peace, belonging...and rid ourselves of the negative influences, thoughts, and patterns we allow ourselves to put up with on a daily basis.

Kind of switching the topic now...

After visiting Mathieu's grandmother, he went to tennis, and I went to yoga. I had planned to go to Travis Arnold's expanding class, since now I can, and it's great! Something came up though, and he wasn't able to make it in time. We joked around with Stephani Lindsey who happened to be subbing for Darren Rhode's Basics class at the same time, and said, "why don't you just teach us at the same time; run back and forth, or something". We all giggled and made light of the whole situation, secretly hoping we'd actually do something like that, and before we knew it, we actually merged into the big room, split the classroom down the middle, and Stephani taught Basics and Expanding simultaneously (who does that???) ...not even that, but the sequences were entirely different...nothing alike at all...it was very impressive and such a cool experience. I'm so glad I was there! Lucky for sure.
I got to thinking, I am so fortunate. I could have landed my butt in any yoga studio in town and made it my home, and I'm sure anywhere would have had something great to offer in my life...but to be at Yoga Oasis, to know the people I know, to practice with the people I practice with, and to learn from (I seriously believe) some of the most amazing yoga instructors around, people who have studied with Christina Sell, Darren Rhodes (the owner of YO), John Friend, Noah Maze, Manorama, Ulla Lundgren, and so many more...it's like heaven. For me to have even been able to study with Christina, Darren, and even John myself is something I am deeply grateful for, and still absolutely amazed that I have had such opportunities come along my path. What a GIFT I feel my life is; how far I feel like I have come since even last year around this time.

Next planned thing for me is the end of November, Costa Rica for one swwwwweeeeet week with Dear Stephani Lindsey and Christine Lee, my two badass yoga buddies, Stephani foremost my teacher for the past year and almost a half (I think). Time flies when you're having fun! (or getting injured, having days of panic, emotional roller coasters, and so on. haha). It is all part of the process. We should not rush the process, but rather trust the process. Time brings everything. Patience is the key to it all...patience and acceptance....and gratitude :)

To wrap it all up, I want to mention this concept of "space" that has recently been flooding my ears, thoughts, mind, dreams, day to day life, and things in my sight. I kept seeing "Breathe Space" or "Breathe and Be Still" or just "Space". I remember...something I learned a while back, was that in that "space" is where our creative energy lies...and in that "space" we can create anything we want. It's our choice... "What you think is what you get" quoting a teacher quoting a teacher. And after we create something in that space, which starts as a thought, will ripple out into the universe, and become attracted into your life, and maybe into the lives of people around you. You just never know. The universe, in my world, doesn't distinguish good and bad...everything just is...it is what it is. It is what we make of it. It's perfect...

All in all, there is space, in that space we plant a thought, the thought creates a ripple, the ripple spreads and impacts it's surroundings, and everything has to be started by one creative force. That force is you.

That's all for now.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

I'm on a Beach

The weather is really nice today...I'm sitting outside on my apartment "balcony" in this pink round chair that I've had since God knows when...but I absolutely love it. It takes me way back. The breeze is cool and gentle...it's nice, compared to the unsettling, uprooting winds that have dominated the atmosphere for these past few days. Yesterday was the hardest for me, because my assignment at work was to work in the milieu (out on the grounds; security/supervision) for 6 hours. The walking was sure nice though, and visiting with and getting to know the people there, but my allergies started to really get the best of me. It passed; as all things do.
Today was the first Sunday in two months that I have had off. It was quite a treat. I slept in, then ventured out and went to yoga (of course. I am so predictable). I went to an 11:30 yoga hour, and then to the 1:30 practice right after having a nice iced Lemon Souffle herbal tea from the nearby cafe. Both classes were awesome, even though I am a bit sore in my calves and shins from a jog I went on yesterday morning. We did a lot of standing poses and arm balances; I think the crowd was feeling it, even before we began, because that's how we were all warming up. I think it's pretty awesome when things are all synced up like that.  There are some days during The Practice, where we just can't contain our inner giggles and explode it all into the room while we run through the sequence. I think it's hilarious when that happens, and it makes my day so much brighter. I believe laughter is good medicine. I think it's amazing that even if we're going through a challenging time, we can still find a bright place in our hearts, and go there for some nurturing and regenerating...or even to just 'escape' the dramas, melodramas, emotional baggage, or other circumstances of this life. I am so grateful for today; for every bit of it.
The clouds were rolling in, as if we were to expect some rain, but it was a teaser (darn!). And as I'm sitting in this chair, I can see the sun setting behind the mountains, making pretty colors in the sky and in the clouds which remain.
My thoughts drift...I daydream, or I play movies (melodramas) inside my head. Sometimes they get pretty distracting and my focus gets thrown off...but I'm working on that; working on coming back into the present moment, where there is peace and pleasure in the simplest things; the breath, the breeze, the trees, the sunset...the random outbursts of laughter in the company of friends. It all reminds me of the beauty of this life. Rather than allowing myself to be distracted by things that bring me anxiety or emotional disturbances and upsets, I know that I can come back to the sweet 'little things' in life, and be re-centered...renewed...rejuvenated.
A few people asked me today if something was wrong, and my response was, "I don't know yet", because I really don't know. So many things are processing through my heart and mind at this current time in my life. I'm graduating in 6 days, I have a new love interest, I'm transitioning into the 'real world', I have new goals, dreams, desires, wants, and needs, and I'm still trying to accomplish and reach all the ones I have set previously. It's a work in progress, and I guess it will always be a work in progress...until we die. ha...but that's okay.
Regardless of how I feel at any given moment, I can say that I am truly enjoying my experience here in this life that I am living. Everything is a lesson, and it is all a part of the journey. The challenge is to stay on course, to not let the wind knock me over, and to keep my eyes on the road ahead, and never look back.
It's getting dark now...it's kind of weird that it's 7:20pm and it's still a little bit light outside. I think it's funny how easily I forget how late the sun stays up in the summer, and how early it sets in the winter. It's one thing that reminds me of my child-likeness. I'm grateful for that.
heh...my roommate from China just came home, saw me, and said, "You on a beach!" I smiled, giggled, and said, "yeah, something like that." It's the little things...

That's all I have for tonight. Peace, love, and light to you. I hope my blogs help someone in some way; it helps me to sit here and pour myself out to the world regardless. Thank you to those of you who read; feel free to comment here or to write me at astrogee0428@gmail.com or hit me up on facebook at  www.facebook.com/agee91

05/06/2013
***Update! We did in fact get some rain. A nice, amount too. The smell this morning is phenomenal. I got to experience some of the light pitter patter as I went back out to sit in my pink round chair, curled up into a ball, listened to light music in the background, breathed in the desert rain aroma, and felt the coolness of the night caress my body to sleep.***