I watch as the smoke of the incense spirals through the air in the room, making intricate shapes as it dances around me. The fragrance is soothing and calming...
My thoughts drift into memories, wishes, to dos, anxieties, worries, and fears...and I snap back into the present moment. "label those things as thoughts, and return to your breath"...as my bikram teachers say throughout the class. I breathe...my mind wanders, I catch it, and I return to the here and now...and then my mind wanders again, and I catch it again, and then I return back to the here and now once more...and then again, and again...it is an intimate dance, between mind, body, and spirit; one which is complicated, yet so simple at the same time. I look for the connection between the three, yet also for the separation...meeting in the middle is supposedly where bliss is found...acceptance...ananda.
I wish I were as good about journaling as I used to be...it can be difficult when there is a lack of time. I'll think of something really great, and I'll think, "I will write that down later" and my mind so easily discards the thought, as though it were never there. It's an annoyance at times, and sometimes it's nice to have the ability to just let things go. Letting go is hard for most. I remember when I had a really hard time letting certain people go in my life, and when I finally did, there was an almost instant sense of ease within me.
I was listening to a conference call last night, where my brother Chris was speaking, and he said something that made so much sense to me, and touched a place in my heart that needed the touching. He said, "you cannot reach others unless you reach yourself first". I've been believing this a lot lately...I started trying to reach myself, and that was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but when I finally reached myself, I found that I had in fact been neglecting and abusing myself so much...forgetting that I, too am important. It's an unconditional love that we so desperately need from ourselves in order to be able to unconditionally love and have compassion for others.
My job at the drug and behavioral health rehabilitation center requires a lot of me...It takes and takes and takes, yet it also gives and gives and gives. As stressful and as taxing as it may be, it has taught me, and continues to teach me a great amount. It has been such a great teacher in my life. The patients I work with have been such great teachers. The co workers I have had to work and deal with have been great teachers. Regardless of my relationship with all of these people and what I think and feel about the way some of them are, or the way they treat me or others, or the way that they behave and/or handle situations, they are still my teachers. I have to dig really deep within myself to find compassion for the ones that hurt or wrong me, in work life and in my own personal life...but the compassion is always there. We just have to get out of our own way sometimes. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it... Finding compassion and unconditional love for others inside of myself is a way for me to give, not only to those receiving such feelings, but also for myself. When I hold on to thoughts and feelings which do not serve me, or those around me, I am harming myself and others with the things that I hold on to...but primarily, I am hurting myself. When I choose to let things go, and to breathe and to just let myself feel those feelings, then let them pass, I am giving myself a great gift of just being, feeling, and breathing...
I heard a saying the other day, my friend was telling me that she heard someone say that the phrase "this too shall pass" came from an ancient Sufi saying which would make the sad man happy and the happy man sad...because all material things are impermanent. All circumstances, good or bad, will come to an end...so the whole idea is to just be present...to breathe through and just be with whatever comes, and to accept it as it is.
I remember also the saying, "what you sew, you reap"...so whatever we are sewing into others and/or ourselves, we will also reap. If we sew in hatred and negative thoughts into someone else, we will reap the same...and the same with love, compassion, and positivity...
I will leave it at that... thank you for reading.
Namaste
My thoughts drift into memories, wishes, to dos, anxieties, worries, and fears...and I snap back into the present moment. "label those things as thoughts, and return to your breath"...as my bikram teachers say throughout the class. I breathe...my mind wanders, I catch it, and I return to the here and now...and then my mind wanders again, and I catch it again, and then I return back to the here and now once more...and then again, and again...it is an intimate dance, between mind, body, and spirit; one which is complicated, yet so simple at the same time. I look for the connection between the three, yet also for the separation...meeting in the middle is supposedly where bliss is found...acceptance...ananda.
I wish I were as good about journaling as I used to be...it can be difficult when there is a lack of time. I'll think of something really great, and I'll think, "I will write that down later" and my mind so easily discards the thought, as though it were never there. It's an annoyance at times, and sometimes it's nice to have the ability to just let things go. Letting go is hard for most. I remember when I had a really hard time letting certain people go in my life, and when I finally did, there was an almost instant sense of ease within me.
I was listening to a conference call last night, where my brother Chris was speaking, and he said something that made so much sense to me, and touched a place in my heart that needed the touching. He said, "you cannot reach others unless you reach yourself first". I've been believing this a lot lately...I started trying to reach myself, and that was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but when I finally reached myself, I found that I had in fact been neglecting and abusing myself so much...forgetting that I, too am important. It's an unconditional love that we so desperately need from ourselves in order to be able to unconditionally love and have compassion for others.
My job at the drug and behavioral health rehabilitation center requires a lot of me...It takes and takes and takes, yet it also gives and gives and gives. As stressful and as taxing as it may be, it has taught me, and continues to teach me a great amount. It has been such a great teacher in my life. The patients I work with have been such great teachers. The co workers I have had to work and deal with have been great teachers. Regardless of my relationship with all of these people and what I think and feel about the way some of them are, or the way they treat me or others, or the way that they behave and/or handle situations, they are still my teachers. I have to dig really deep within myself to find compassion for the ones that hurt or wrong me, in work life and in my own personal life...but the compassion is always there. We just have to get out of our own way sometimes. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it... Finding compassion and unconditional love for others inside of myself is a way for me to give, not only to those receiving such feelings, but also for myself. When I hold on to thoughts and feelings which do not serve me, or those around me, I am harming myself and others with the things that I hold on to...but primarily, I am hurting myself. When I choose to let things go, and to breathe and to just let myself feel those feelings, then let them pass, I am giving myself a great gift of just being, feeling, and breathing...
I heard a saying the other day, my friend was telling me that she heard someone say that the phrase "this too shall pass" came from an ancient Sufi saying which would make the sad man happy and the happy man sad...because all material things are impermanent. All circumstances, good or bad, will come to an end...so the whole idea is to just be present...to breathe through and just be with whatever comes, and to accept it as it is.
I remember also the saying, "what you sew, you reap"...so whatever we are sewing into others and/or ourselves, we will also reap. If we sew in hatred and negative thoughts into someone else, we will reap the same...and the same with love, compassion, and positivity...
I will leave it at that... thank you for reading.
Namaste
