Family and Christmas Time

I cannot tell you just how wonderful my time in Oklahoma has been. I have been able to see family that I haven't seen for between 3 to 12 years! I was just a little rascal, as well as my other cousins, specifically on my grandmother's side of the family, the last time I saw them all. It is remarkable how different we become, how our looks and personalities change, yet...the family bond is always there. There were some people who I honestly did not remember, but we all just clicked without any effort at all...before you knew it, we were outside playing washers and kicking around a good time.

Christmas has been different this year...in a very, very good way. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to have been able to spend this season with a large portion of my family.
I may have been robbed of experiencing this love and unity for most of my life, but I could never fully express how grateful I am that I could receive such a gift this Christmas. I finally know again, the joy Christmas brings...the love and warmth of family that comes along with it.

My cup is overflowing with Thanksgiving.

Merriest Christmas to All.

All my love, and may peace be with you on this holiday season.

Ashley

I love being here

Children are definite reminders of the beauty of life. I love that I can spend time with them, because they are just so innocent at such a young age. "These are the greatest"...and they truly are.

I have been hanging out with my cousin Amanda and her family for the past couple of days. It's crazy how we don't realized how long it really has been, until we start catching up, and realizing how much has been missed.

We talked for hours and hours, and I feel like we can still talk more. There is PLENTY to talk about, so there won't ever be a problem in that category ;)

My other cousin Lucinda, and Amanda, and I ate dinner and had a good girls' night out last night. I heard it snowed in parts of Oklahoma last night, but where I am, we didn't get any- but that's okay. There is still time for miracles to happen :)

Tonight I am heading up to my brothers and sisters Christmas get together for more visiting and more catching up. I can't wait!

Take care everyone! I may not write again until after Christmas. Lots of action to journal about after that.

Merry Christmas!!

Love,

Ashley

Life at Grandma's

CLICK TO READ THE WHOLE THING : Life at Grandma's: I finally arrived at the Will Rogers Air Port around 1530 on Monday, December 19. It has been raining ever since I left Tucson. Dallas was t...

In Texas, they really don't make their salads any bigger- just the serving size of meat and cheese that they put on top! And yes, I removed it. People were watching me too...

Oh well :-)

Day One - The Mission to Okie Land

This morning, I woke around 0500 to George Winston's variation of Carol of the Bells. He is by far one of my favorite piano artists of all time, and can make any piece sound extraordinary. I am so excited to be going to Oklahoma. It has been 10 years since I last spent a real Christmas with my whole family.

Mom is funny :) She wants to know when I land right when I land wherever I land. She about yelled at me for not telling her I made it through security...calm down mom :) Love you.

I will be leaving at 0905 from gate A7 in the Tucson Air Port. I can't hardly wait! As I am awaiting my boarding time, I am sipping on a nice cup of hot coffee from the Ike's coffee stand - it's delicious, and it is the only cup of coffee I plan on having today.

Final exams were killer, but I pushed through them. I definitely had enough coffee for a family and a half...twice a day during those last couple of weeks...but in the end, it was all completely worth it--even the monstrous migraine I had from caffeine withdraw the next day. But now, all is well, and I am enjoying my break thus far. Yesterday and the day before were extra special, and bitter sweet for me...but I will cherish those moments within my heart for a lifetime.

God is good, and he continues to bless me in ways that sometimes I cannot even comprehend, and I am very grateful for this new day of life that I live and breathe...

Remember that even though what you do may be insignificant, it is important for you to wake up every day and do it...no matter what.

:)

I will keep all of you posted on my trip, and I wish you all the best of Christmas, and safe travels wherever you may go.

Much Love,

Ashley

I'm glad that I did

Remember the importance of some of the people and the things in your life...remember to not make decisions you may regret... Take the risks that are worth taking and make sacrifices worth making. Do not make assumptions that are outside of you, because many times, you may find yourself to be wrong.
I had originally planned to skip out on something, just because my heart was in the wrong place...but I powered through that doubt, and I did what felt right....and for that, I am glad that I did.

Love and Hugs,

Ashley

Short Update of my Life

I have finally completed my 5th semester at the University of Arizona, and I have only 2 more to go. I actually think I may graduate by December, 2012. It's extremely exciting for me!

I am about ready to take my trip to Oklahoma... I will be gone for two weeks, and I cannot wait to see my family. It has been 10 years since I have spent Christmas there...quite the reunion, for sure. I will post pictures and stories while there, and I hope you all enjoy them.

Today I met a girl just like me. She has just moved to Tucson, from Alaska...when I asked her what made her want to come here, she told me, "I honestly have no idea...it just felt right." While we have some things in common, like the way we eat, our hobbies, and our interests, there is still something even more special about this whole thing...our faith. Someone who shares the same belief has come here, to Tucson, unexpectedly...but so very welcome. There was an immediate bond, and I can say nothing more than how thankful I am for what God does, on a moment by moment basis...He teaches us not to doubt by doing little (sometimes big) things in our lives to help us 'see'...

I am so glad to have a friend so near. I am looking forward to getting to know her better.


Tomorrow, I will be going to a ceremony for someone who has been a huge part of my life for almost 3 years now... and although he does not wish to continue as friends, he will always take up a special place within my heart.
In the past few months, I have expressed anger, sadness, joy, and peace regarding the situation, and it has taken me much time to understand, and some things I still do not understand, but time will give me that at some point.
Never have I ever experienced anything like this before...but people say that there is a first time for everything...

...sometimes it's a one way street, and there is nothing that can be done to change it.

I have promised myself to let go of the things I love the most in this world...and to be patient for what God has promised to me. That's all I really can do, isn't it...to wait, and to watch.

God, Grant me the Serenety...

I feel as if my balance has been slightly off lately...
There are probably several things that have effected this; some things I can change, and then there are those things that I cannot change, but that I have to find some way to accept.
Every morning, when I wake up, I walk out of my bedroom, and I see on the wall across the hallway:
God, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". That little prayer has had a lot of meaning in my life, and I am sure that it applies to many other lives as well. Pulling through the hard times is not always an easy thing to do, no matter how much positive talk you give yourself or receive from others. It always comes down to what's going on inside of the sufferer... A battle that no other human being could decipher... a battle that only you know...and that you know it to be difficult.

I know...
I am there, battling my own battles, at this very moment. I know what you are feeling, what you are going through...I know this, because I know that we are all fighting our own pains and weaknesses. Although different, they are very much the same in a way. We all struggle differently, but no struggle is more difficult than any other.

I think we can all relate to a feeling of loss... it hurts...it hurts really bad--and we all know that there are many different types of loss, and that some may seem to hurt much more than another type of loss we may have had before.

The loss of a friend or loved one to death
The loss of a friend or loved one to death or damage of the relationship
The loss of a job
The loss of a home
The loss of happiness, and what it feels like to live.

There are these...and there are many, many more...

I cannot give advice or words on defeating that pain...other than to pray and give your heart time to be mended and strengthened.We are people who feel...all of us. We all know what it is like to feel loss...but it does not mean that we have to suffer the hurt forever...for,we must believe that this too shall pass...and you will return to balance.

All the love that I can give, I give to you.

Ashley

He who cannot be seen

God gives us two arms
To embrace ourselves
When we are all alone...

I am thankful
That he gives me reasons
To turn to him
To need him
To reach out to him

Trials
That bring me closer to him
Love
That I can give and recieve
Friends
Who love me
Faith
So that I can believe

I know now that pain does not last forever
We only choose whether or not we let pain cave us in

We have the choice...
To reach out
Or to hide within

Though hiding...it only worsens the pain
And lengthens the process of healing

Today...I am grateful

I have a mighty and loving God.
He who cannot be seen
Strengthens and encourages me

He who cannot be seen
Can be the only one to know my suffering

He who cannot be seen
Knows how much it hurts

...and he knows the only way to comfort me.

He who cannot be seen
Wraps his strong and mighty arms around me

And he tells me:
"it will be okay...you'll see"

He gives me patience and he gives me faith to hold onto
When there's nothing left to hold on to

And when there is nothing left to hold onto
I will always have He...who cannot be seen

Everyone fights a hard battle

Remember that everyone in the world fights a hard battle. It is important to help one another, rather than oppose and fight with each other. We are all human, and none of us are the picture of perfection. Love one another and have faith in your relationships; whether it be family, friends, or romantic. Be there...stay there...and do not fear what you cannot control.

Cherish your friends, and keep them close...through both the good and the bad times. A cherished friendship is a nurtured and mended relationship; a bond that cannot be broken by even the sharpest sword.

To give unconditional love is one thing, to receive it is another. To have both is a blessing; and that type of blessing leaves room for growth.

Much love to my readers, those subscribed, and those unsubscribed. Thank you for reading.

Ashley

"we all have fears and fear is constructive in that it helps us learn about ourselves"