The mind will go where it goes. There is nothing we can do about it, other than watch, and then choose how we respond to it. That sounds way easier than it actually is, but it is definitely something that can be done. It just takes practice.
I've been watching my mind a lot lately. It's an interesting thing to watch, as it goes back and forth, from one point to another, and how it tries to connect the dots all the time. Sometimes, it connects the dots correctly, and other times...not so much. The mind will even add dots that were never really there to begin with (called assumptions); and those can get us into trouble.
The other day, I read a quote by Henry Winkler, which was, "Assumptions are the termites of relationships". I thought...wow; that's actually true. I remember making assumptions in my past relationships (romantic and friendships), and I particularly remember how those assumptions caused me a lot of unnecessary pain.
It's funny to watch the patterns of thought...how similar they are, even in very different situations. Those patterns are also termed SAMSKARAS or NEURO PATHWAYS. You can never remove a samskara or NP without removing a piece of the brain physically...although, new ones are always able to be formed. New ones are formed the same way the old ones were, and that is by consciously making an effort to go about things in a certain way. For instance, if originally, you were to become very angry after an altercation with a friend or family member, and then decided to give them the silent treatment for weeks, and hold a grudge, etc...and you wanted to change that into something more productive, you might:
A- Take a deep breath
B- Consider your part in the issue
C- Apologize for your part
D- Make ammends
E- Forgive
...and so on.
That's one way of creating a new pathway...although, a new pathway cannot take over an old one, unless it has dug a groove much deeper than the old one...and that is done by repetition.
Instead of flipping out all the time and getting reactive about something, we consciously choose to breathe and then let it go, and accept things as they are...every time. Eventually, it becomes habit. Even so, the natural tendency that was there before, will always be there, and sometimes, we do fall back into that same pattern. This is why addicts have such a hard time and relapse. But a person can always pick themselves back up again.
I don't know what drove me to write about all of this, but I guess it was just in the ethers today. Maybe someone needs to see what I have to say. Sometimes, I just begin writing, and things come out of me that I didn't even realize were there...even advice I could use myself. It's a fascinating thing. For me, writing gets me into my soul...my true self. It's the one way I can access what I perceive to be truth, and I am grateful.
Last weekend, I went on a phone/social media fast. I hadn't ever done anything like that, unless I was out of the country, where it wouldn't work anyway. It was nice to keep living my life as I always do, only without all of that extra nonsense that the world seems to be so addicted to. I was breaking a pattern for 48 hours that I was so used to, every day, for the past maybe 6 years of my life. That's a deep groove to jump out of, even for 2 days. SO...while I had no connection to my phone or to the social media world, I found myself doing things I normally wouldn't do, thinking things I normally wouldn't think, and feeling things I wouldn't normally feel...
I made a list:
- The first thing was anxiety...not knowing what was going on in the world...a little discomfort around sitting with myself, without the typical distractions.
- Then I started feeling more in tune with life around me (close to me).
- I had more time to do daily tasks.
- I didn't feel rushed.
- I did feel withdrawn, but eventually, it faded away.
- I did feel occasionally worried, but that too did not last.
- I got locked out of my car; locked the keys in there and everything. I figured it all out on my own...used my own set of skills and knowlege rather than relying on someone or something else to do it for me.
- I subbed a yoga class, and felt more connected to everyone in the room, because I wasn't wasting energy on my connection with people online who I actually have no actual connection with in that setting.
- I danced with myself.
- I sang to myself.
- Took the time to cook myself meals.
- Thoughts crossed my mind many times to grab my phone, even at the weirdest times, like while driving, in bed, in a movie theater, at work, when I started getting bored, etc. It made me realize how unhealthy it is.
- I got out of my head, and in to my heart.
- I began feeling more 'in the moment' as opposed to being in lala-land with my facebookees or instagramees.
- I noticed a blue monarch butterfly flying over my head and circling me (those are rare).
- I noticed families of new quail hatchlings walking around and the parents so warmly guiding and watching them.
- I became more focused on making connections with people in my vicinity rather than people on a social media network.
- Now, I don't want to check my phone unless I am alone, because it's actually kind of rude when you're with someone.
I recommend trying it, even for one day. It's amazing what comes up in that one day.
It's amazing how our culture has become so addicted to our phones and computers. It's all a distraction from what we really need to be focusing on.
Even other addictions like drug and alcohol, shopping, even physical activity. Too much of anything can easily be turned into a bad thing.
We need balance.
Everything becomes much more meaningful when we choose to be in the moment, rather than being somewhere else in our heads when our physical body is right here.
Choose a new pattern.
Namaste.
I've been watching my mind a lot lately. It's an interesting thing to watch, as it goes back and forth, from one point to another, and how it tries to connect the dots all the time. Sometimes, it connects the dots correctly, and other times...not so much. The mind will even add dots that were never really there to begin with (called assumptions); and those can get us into trouble.
The other day, I read a quote by Henry Winkler, which was, "Assumptions are the termites of relationships". I thought...wow; that's actually true. I remember making assumptions in my past relationships (romantic and friendships), and I particularly remember how those assumptions caused me a lot of unnecessary pain.
It's funny to watch the patterns of thought...how similar they are, even in very different situations. Those patterns are also termed SAMSKARAS or NEURO PATHWAYS. You can never remove a samskara or NP without removing a piece of the brain physically...although, new ones are always able to be formed. New ones are formed the same way the old ones were, and that is by consciously making an effort to go about things in a certain way. For instance, if originally, you were to become very angry after an altercation with a friend or family member, and then decided to give them the silent treatment for weeks, and hold a grudge, etc...and you wanted to change that into something more productive, you might:
A- Take a deep breath
B- Consider your part in the issue
C- Apologize for your part
D- Make ammends
E- Forgive
...and so on.
That's one way of creating a new pathway...although, a new pathway cannot take over an old one, unless it has dug a groove much deeper than the old one...and that is done by repetition.
Instead of flipping out all the time and getting reactive about something, we consciously choose to breathe and then let it go, and accept things as they are...every time. Eventually, it becomes habit. Even so, the natural tendency that was there before, will always be there, and sometimes, we do fall back into that same pattern. This is why addicts have such a hard time and relapse. But a person can always pick themselves back up again.
I don't know what drove me to write about all of this, but I guess it was just in the ethers today. Maybe someone needs to see what I have to say. Sometimes, I just begin writing, and things come out of me that I didn't even realize were there...even advice I could use myself. It's a fascinating thing. For me, writing gets me into my soul...my true self. It's the one way I can access what I perceive to be truth, and I am grateful.
Last weekend, I went on a phone/social media fast. I hadn't ever done anything like that, unless I was out of the country, where it wouldn't work anyway. It was nice to keep living my life as I always do, only without all of that extra nonsense that the world seems to be so addicted to. I was breaking a pattern for 48 hours that I was so used to, every day, for the past maybe 6 years of my life. That's a deep groove to jump out of, even for 2 days. SO...while I had no connection to my phone or to the social media world, I found myself doing things I normally wouldn't do, thinking things I normally wouldn't think, and feeling things I wouldn't normally feel...
I made a list:
- The first thing was anxiety...not knowing what was going on in the world...a little discomfort around sitting with myself, without the typical distractions.
- Then I started feeling more in tune with life around me (close to me).
- I had more time to do daily tasks.
- I didn't feel rushed.
- I did feel withdrawn, but eventually, it faded away.
- I did feel occasionally worried, but that too did not last.
- I got locked out of my car; locked the keys in there and everything. I figured it all out on my own...used my own set of skills and knowlege rather than relying on someone or something else to do it for me.
- I subbed a yoga class, and felt more connected to everyone in the room, because I wasn't wasting energy on my connection with people online who I actually have no actual connection with in that setting.
- I danced with myself.
- I sang to myself.
- Took the time to cook myself meals.
- Thoughts crossed my mind many times to grab my phone, even at the weirdest times, like while driving, in bed, in a movie theater, at work, when I started getting bored, etc. It made me realize how unhealthy it is.
- I got out of my head, and in to my heart.
- I began feeling more 'in the moment' as opposed to being in lala-land with my facebookees or instagramees.
- I noticed a blue monarch butterfly flying over my head and circling me (those are rare).
- I noticed families of new quail hatchlings walking around and the parents so warmly guiding and watching them.
- I became more focused on making connections with people in my vicinity rather than people on a social media network.
- Now, I don't want to check my phone unless I am alone, because it's actually kind of rude when you're with someone.
I recommend trying it, even for one day. It's amazing what comes up in that one day.
It's amazing how our culture has become so addicted to our phones and computers. It's all a distraction from what we really need to be focusing on.
Even other addictions like drug and alcohol, shopping, even physical activity. Too much of anything can easily be turned into a bad thing.
We need balance.
Everything becomes much more meaningful when we choose to be in the moment, rather than being somewhere else in our heads when our physical body is right here.
Choose a new pattern.
Namaste.
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